We Are Tools
by Iruka Sensei871
Summary: When Team Kakashi beats Sasuke they must decide his fate. They have to lean on each other to heal from the loss of beloved comrades, and Sasuke does everything he can to make their lives hell. Sakura/Sai Kakashi/Gai Warnings for language and character deaths
1. Chapter 1

"We are tools, Naruto," Kakashi said, "and tools must be content to be used." He hoped Naruto would let it drop, that for once he would keep his mouth shut when he could accidentally cause more pain.

It wasn't the first time he'd said that to Naruto. The first time had been after Haku had died and Naruto in his innocence discovered some of the uglier facts about ninja life. Kakashi had never been sure what shocked Naruto more, Haku's devotion to a man who saw him as only a disposable tool, or Zabuza's heartless actions toward his own village and student. That Naruto identified with Haku was understandable, but Kakashi suspected that Naruto simply couldn't fathom the idea of someone not loving their village - not at that age anyway. It took him a long time to learn that lesson. He'd rejected the idea until he was far too old for such idealism, and it was Sasuke who finally convinced him that some people have nothing in their hearts to give.

Of course he knew that about enemies, but Naruto had shared his heart with Sasuke.

Kakashi looked down at the broken body on the torn ground, where Sakura moved quickly to try to hold back death. The battle-damaged area was vast and ruined, with a burning forest from Naruto's jutsus, great mounds of earth from Sakura's earth shattering jutsus, and the thick smell of ozone that followed Kakashi's Chidori. Ink from Sai's jutsus splattered the landscape.

It crossed Kakashi's mind briefly how much collateral damage would have occurred if they had fought in a populated area, but he disregarded that thought as irrelevant. At least they had been spared that nightmare.

 _Failure_ , he thought, and not for the first time. It didn't matter what Gai said, or even Sandaime or Tsunade, he knew that somehow he'd missed a chance, a brief moment when he could have saved Sasuke.

It ached, and it had burned at him like acid for years, and now he looked down at the final proof.

"A ninja must keep his emotions in check," he said to Naruto, but keeping his eyes on the ground. It was so easy to slip back into a teaching mode.

"We must keep ourselves from betraying our inner thoughts," he said, staring at what he suspected was a corpse, even though Sakura still worked frantically. She had started as soon as he fell, closing the hole left by Kakashi's Chidori and the massive chakra burns left by Naruto's demon.

She hadn't begun to heal the damage she had caused yet. She was a genjutsu type, but she tended toward physical attacks as well, and the shattered bones, broken jaw, and disfigured face were nothing compared to what Kakashi and Naruto had done to him.

Sai stood by, quietly watching. Sakura had her work, and Kakashi and Naruto stood close to each other, but Sai stood further away, alone as usual.

Sai's jutsus had been largely ineffectual, and he'd stuck to trying to distract Sasuke. He was watching Sakura intently, and Kakashi wondered what the psychotic young man was thinking.

His bruised mind refused any attempt at a challenging question, and he turned away from Sai, unwilling to lose the last few minutes he'd probably have with Sasuke.

He couldn't bring himself to look at Naruto. Sakura had the intense scowl she always had when she put herself entirely into her work, and Sai was looking at her with...

Not love, but something softer than his usual blank face. Who knew with him? Kakashi didn't think he'd ever seen tears on that stone face before.

But he couldn't bear to see Naruto's face screwed up in pain, probably emotionally and physically. So he didn't look at him.

"The Shinobi rules don't help much at times like this, do they, Sensei?" Naruto asked quietly.

Kakashi finally looked at him, and he realized that Naruto was the only one with dry eyes. They looked tired and empty. He would have expected such a reaction from Sai, not Naruto. Even Sai shed a few tears, although probably for his friends' pain and not Sasuke's death. Naruto's long cloak whipped around him in the wind, and Naruto looked at Sasuke stoically.

 _When did we trade places_? Kakashi wondered, remembering the times he'd waited in embarrassed silence while Naruto cried.

Kakashi wiped away tears that he couldn't will away. "I guess I was talking to myself," he said. It had only been a few short minutes since the end of the battle, but if it wasn't for the position of the sun he would have sworn it had been hours.

"I failed you all," Kakashi said. "I'm sorry."

Naruto turned on him. "Don't say things like that. He chose his own way."

There was no passion or even anger in Naruto's voice, only an exhausted acceptance. _I was bitter and hard like Sasuke,_ Kakashi thought. _Why did he choose this? He had every advantage_.

He had once had Obito to bring him some truth about life, and Sasuke had Naruto. But he couldn't deny that he'd never had the drive for vengeance that permeated Sasuke's life.

But they both had eyes that were cursed; there was that.

He rubbed gently at the sore flesh under the Sharingan eye, ignoring the growing weakness associated with chakra exhaustion. Slick blood still leaked from his bottom eyelid, and he hoped he hadn't permanently damaged it.

 _I'm overreacting. It isn't that bad_ , he thought. He'd definitely had worse. His legs felt numb, but he wasn't having trouble standing, yet. He tried to calculate how much chakra he'd used, but he was too tired for the math involved.

He felt blood trickling down his leg, and the dull pain of a minor wound, but he couldn't pull his eyes off that ruined face below him, and when Sakura pushed Sasuke's jaw together with a snap and a grinding sound he almost felt it in his own jaw, and he heard Naruto gasp. He could have tended to his own wound while Sakura worked on Sasuke, but he stared transfixed. He'd killed more people than he could count, but none of them had been his own student, his responsibility.

"He'll live then?" Naruto asked calmly, making Sai and Kakashi slip him sideways, suspicious glances. Naruto didn't do things calmly.

"The book said it's normal for friends to grieve for the loss of another," Sai said.

"What does the book say about traitors?" Naruto asked. Kakashi had rarely heard such coldness in his voice.

"The book doesn't cover every subject," Sai said. "It's about building and maintaining friendships, not dealing with how they end."

If Sakura was dealing with injuries that were not life-threatening it meant Sasuke was out of danger for the moment, and a great relief swept over Kakashi as he realized that he hadn't helped to kill his student.

Sakura sat back and wiped her eyes with the back of one hand.

"You shouldn't use more chakra than is necessary," Sai said. "We have a long trip home."

"I'm not finished yet," Sakura said. She leaned her head on her hand, unknowingly leaving a long red stain of Sasuke's blood in her hair.

"He isn't worth your tears," Naruto said.

Sakura was obviously shocked. "Do you think I'm crying for him?" she asked. "I was thinking about everything he'd cost us - our childhood, all those Konoha ninjas, Ino, Gai Sensei."

"Gai isn't dead," Kakashi said. "With his energy he'll probably be out of the hospital when we get back."

The pity in Sakura's face almost made him give up hope at the memory of Gai lying still and bloody from Sasuke's initial attack. _If only he hadn't been caught unaware_.

"You don't owe him anything," Naruto said.

"I owe him for Ino," Sakura said.

"Then why did you try so hard to save him?" Sai asked.

"Because I want to drag that bastard back to Konoha to pay for what he did. I want to see that dammed Uchiha line end forever. I want Ino's parents to watch him die."

Thunder sounded in the distance, and they could see dark clouds coming their way.

"We need to find shelter," Sakura said. "If he gets soaked he really will die."

"I saw a cave over there," Sai said, pointing behind them. "It's not close though."

As Kakashi turned to look he placed his full weight on his left leg, and he felt it give under him. Several things seemed to happen at once. To his surprise he looked down and saw that there was far too much blood for a cut (even a deep one), and he collapsed with an undignified "ulp!"

Naruto caught him by the left arm, breaking his fall but also twisting the arm painfully, and Kakashi heard a loud snap as an upper arm bone broke.

He still hit the ground hard enough to jar his new injury. In a detached sort of way he realized he could feel the broken arm much more than the leg wound.

"Oh god Kakashi, I'm sorry!" Naruto said, the first emotion showing since the battle.

Sakura was by Kakashi almost as soon as he hit the ground, checking his vitals. Her fingers felt warm against his neck as she checked his pulse.

"Naruto, Sai, go keep an eye on Sasuke for me," she said.

"You don't need both of us," Naruto said.

"One for Sasuke, and one to stand guard, now go!"

"Is it chakra exhaustion again?" she asked as she pushed chakra through Kakashi's arm in a diagnostic jutsu.

Kakashi had to hold his breath and wait for a wave of pain to pass before he could speak.

"My leg..."

Sakura saw the area below one knee that was stained much darker than the olive drab fabric around it. She pulled a kunai and used it to cut away his pants leg below the knee, giving him a smoldering glare afterwards.

"Baka Sensei. Why didn't you say something?" she asked. "You've lost a lot of blood."

Kakashi followed her gaze to see a surprising amount of blood spreading slowly around his leg.

"It happened just before Sasuke went down, but I can barely feel it," he said. "I thought it was a cut. My legs are tingling like I used too much chakra."

"Baka Sensei," Sakura muttered again. "I used so much chakra on Sasuke that I can't do much for you right now except to stop the bleeding. You should have said something."

"Here," she said, pushing a small red pill into his mouth - a little roughly, in his opinion. "Chew."

Liquid burst from the pill as he bit down, and he recognized the coppery taste of a blood pill.

"That will speed up your body's ability to produce blood," Sakura said, "but it's hard on the body, especially with the chakra problems. You'll need to eat more than usual for a couple of days."

"I've had them before," Kakashi said. "I know what to expect." He knew when the chakra-enhanced pill began to take effect when an all-over weakness came over him, and sudden nausea almost made him vomit. He barely managed to hold it back, gagging loudly.

Sakura wrapped the leg wound efficiently and quickly.

He shivered, and Sakura wiped a blood-stained hand on her dress before placing a large palm across his forehead and passing a small amount of chakra through him. As many times as she had worked on him during missions he knew the feel of her chakra, and when he felt the weak flow he knew she had used too much. It actually faded once, and with her superb chakra control he never would have believed it could happen.

When she pulled her bloodstained hand away Kakashi wondered _, my blood or Sasuke's_?

"I felt your chakra slip," he whispered so Sai and Naruto couldn't hear. "Don't use any more until you've had time to recover."

"I know my own limits," she said.

Kakashi lay still as Sakura pulled his jacket open and slit his shirt with a kunai, slicing away his sleeve.

This is going to hurt," she said, and then she cut her own arm below the elbow - not deeply, but enough to provide her with enough blood for a seal. She used it to draw a seal on his shoulder, and then she performed a few hand signs Kakashi hadn't seen before. She put her hands above the break but below the seal, and she released chakra as she pulled and twisted, realigning the bones.

Kakashi managed not to faint, but his head swam from the pain. He closed his eyes and focused on controlling his breathing and meditation, trying to dominate the pain.

She began breathing heavily and closed her eyes.

"Are you dizzy?" Kakashi asked.

"It will pass," she said. "Don't say more about it or Naruto might find out, and you know how he gets."

Sai and Naruto had stepped away, but they were watching.

"I need your bedrolls," Sakura called to them. "We need to get him warm."

"Is he in shock?" Naruto asked.

"No," Sakura said, "but that much blood loss..." She trailed off for a few seconds.

"I think he lost about half of his blood," she said. "Not good. We're both type O, but there's no way to do a transfusion this far away from civilization."

Kakashi dry-heaved as the blood pill pushed his body to the limits. When he finished she put his arm in a makeshift sling.

"It's healed, somewhat," she said, speaking quietly so that only Kakashi could hear her, "but it's still fragile. I can't do much for it until I get some chakra back."

Thunder drew their attention back to the sky. "I'll stay here with Kakashi," she said. "We'll have to build a shelter over him. I guess with all these trees we wrecked we can get more than enough wood."

"What about him?" Sai asked, pointing at Sasuke.

Sakura glanced at Sasuke. "What about him?" she asked. She turned back to Kakashi. "Build the shelter. We'll just have to move Sasuke here."

"That doesn't seem right," Sai said. "Won't moving him be dangerous?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Sai," Sakura said. "I guess I should have consulted you first since you obviously know more than the onsite medic."

"I don't have a degree," Sai said. "What made you think I do?"

"What?" Sakura asked. "It was sarcasm, Sai."

"Ah. A way to cope with stress. I understand, but if you went to the trouble to save Sasuke it would make sense to continue preserving his life, especially if you want to exact your vengeance for what happened to Ino."

"I can't believe he killed Ino," Sakura said.

Naruto put down his bedroll for Kakashi and pulled Kakashi's out of his pack. He helped Kakashi onto the bedroll, noticing that he moved his legs oddly, as if he had little control over them.

"This should be enough," Kakashi said. "Save the others for Sasuke."

"No," Sakura said. "You get what you need first. He'll live without one."

"You want to leave him on the cold ground?" Kakashi asked.

"I want to do much worse than that," she said.

"You had your chance to kill him," Kakashi said. "If you want to get him back to Konoha you need to put aside your personal feelings and treat him properly. You had a good idea. He collaborated with some of our worst enemies, and he had valuable intell."

"So he will be tortured?" Sakura asked. She leaned forward, intent and focused. Kakashi hated that Sasuke had put the ugly look of joy on her face at the thought of his torture.

"I doubt that he'll give us information voluntarily," Kakashi said. "Don't be too quick to enjoy this. It's a corrupting emotion."

"He killed Ino," Sakura said. "I wish I could do it myself."

"You'll end up like me," Sai said. "I don't want that."

"I don't care," Sakura said.

"Uh, guys?" Naruto asked, pointing at the clouds. "If we're going to build a shelter we'd better get started."

"You two go," Sakura said. "Get enough wood for two shelters."

She watched them head north, and she sat by Kakashi with a grunt.

"If you don't need to tend to Sasuke you could lay down," Kakashi said. "You look worn out."

"You old perv," she said. "You just want to get me under the blanket."

"A warm body next to me would be nice about now," he said. "I wouldn't be much fun for some time anyway."

Sakura glanced back at Sasuke and crawled under the blanket near Kakashi. "I need to rest and build up my chakra so I can treat you."

She was soon snoring, leaving Kakashi alone with his thoughts. He was injured and exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. He lay there trying to shift into a more comfortable position without waking Sakura, and he waited for his teammates to return. He hoped they would get back before the rain hit.

They beat the rain and built rudimentary shelters over Kakashi and Sasuke, accidentally waking Sakura.

"You should stay with Sasuke tonight," Kakashi said. "My injuries aren't that bad."

"Oh so now you're the medic?" Sakura asked. "Everyone had medical training here, apparently."

"I'm just being logical. Naruto can stay here, and Sai can take first watch."

Sai nodded, and Sakura scowled. "Fine," she said, "but only if you promise to send Naruto for me if you need me."

"I'm not going to need you," Kakashi said.

Fat droplets began to fall outside their shelters, turning dusk to night immediately.

"Ok. Just keep an eye out for the side effects of that pill."

Sakura and Sai left.

"Do you think she'll kill him?" Naruto asked.

"She might," Kakashi said. I hope not. She'll regret it."

"She'll regret not doing it too," Naruto said. He pulled the blanket over him, but he left enough space between them to keep him from having enough blanket to even half cover himself.

"You can move closer," Kakashi said. "I'm not going to bite unless asked."

Naruto blushed, but he moved closer laying next to Kakashi in an awkward way.

Kakashi pulled his arm back. "There isn't enough room to be prudish. Just put your head on my shoulder."

Naruto spluttered, blushed, and protested.

"I'm cold," Kakashi said. "Get closer."

Naruto put his head on Kakashi's shoulder. "This is weird," he said.

"I think it's nice," Kakashi said. "I'm warm now at least, and if I have to be injured this is better than being alone. I hate waking up in the hospital alone."

"I try to be there whenever one of my precious people is hurt," Naruto said.

"I hope Gai has someone with him," Kakashi said.

"Probably," Naruto said, "if he's still alive. I mean... that's not what I meant."

"Gai is strong," Kakashi said. "He'll be fine."

"You care a lot about Gai Sensei, don't you?"

"Hai," Kakashi said quietly. "Life wouldn't be the same without him."

Naruto shifted awkwardly. "Are you sure this is ok?"

"I'm used to sleeping in a pile of dogs when I'm cold on missions, but I can't spare the chakra to summon them. I'd call this comfortable."

"You know I'm not gay, right?" Naruto said.

Kakashi didn't quite manage to stifle an exasperated grunt. "No one said you are."

"But you are, aren't you?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto, how many women have you seen me with?"

"A few," Naruto said, "but I saw you with Gai Sensei a few weeks ago, too."

Kakashi searched his memory for Naruto's reference, but he couldn't think of anything, and then...

"I know what you're talking about," Kakashi said. "You got the wrong idea."

"But you were kissing!" Naruto said. "Jiraiya and Asuma Sensei were there. I saw it!"

"Did you also see everyone laughing at the joke?"

"But...kissing!" Naruto insisted.

"Gai was complaining that we're running out of creative challenges, and Jiraiya said, "who has the guts to kiss the other one?" Gai grabbed me, and you saw the rest. It wasn't even a real kiss. My mask was on."

"Who won?" Naruto asked.

"Gai," Kakashi said. "I was too shocked to do anything." Kakashi said.

"So it's Gai Sensei who's gay?" Naruto asked.

"What's with the obsession about being gay?" Kakashi asked. "This is new."

"So is cuddling with my Sensei," Naruto said dryly. "I was just wondering..."

"Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Go to sleep."


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi meditated, pulling far into his own mind where he could focus and center himself, finally managing to sleep. When he opened his eyes it was dusk and Naruto was sleeping heavily by him, snoring deeply. The smell of burning forest and the oncoming rain were oppressive, bothering his sensitive nose.

Sakura came into the tent and knelt by him. "Well this is adorable," she said. "It looks like you two finally decided to quit pretending to be straight."

"Not you too," Kakashi said.

Naruto squirmed in his sleep, rolled over, and put an arm around Kakashi, letting out a long contented sigh without waking.

Kakashi felt his cheeks grow hot. "It isn't what it looks like," Kakashi said.

"I just came over to check on you before I settle in."

"You should be more concerned with how we're going to transport Sasuke. It isn't like there's a town anywhere nearby."

The wind began to rise, throwing small bits of debris against their makeshift shelter. "If you don't want to get caught in this you'd better leave," Kakashi said.

Naruto had never even stirred in his sleep.

In the other shelter Sai knelt watching Sasuke, and waiting for Sakura. The smell of blood and dampness would have put almost anyone else in a foul mood, but Sai didn't have moods. Instead he watched the traitor in front of him with a cat like curiosity. When the wind increased enough to chill him through the pine boughs he moved into the shelter as far as he could.

When Sasuke had attacked them he'd looked like what he was – one of the strongest, most fearsome ninjas in the world. But now he was covered in mud made of dirt and his own blood, his hair was slicked to his head with sweat and ichor, and his clothes were torn and as ruined as his body. He looked like what he was, an injured, hated prisoner.

Sasuke stirred and tried to raise his hands, which Sakura had tied together.

"Who's there?" He asked hoarsely. He tried to sit up.

Sai put a hand on his chest and pushed him down. "Be still," he said. He looked at the bandages over Sasuke's eyes. The blood stains were spreading slowly.

"I suppose you think you've won," Sasuke said.

Sai said nothing, but he watched Sasuke closely.

"Why didn't you kill me?" Sasuke asked.

"Sakura-chan wants you alive," Sai said. "I think it's a mistake."

"Idiot," Sasuke said. "She still thinks she can change me."

"I don't think so." Sai said.

"I'll kill all of you yet," Sasuke said.

Sai pulled the bandage off of Sasuke's face so he could look at his ruined eyes, slashed through with one deep stroke. With the other scars crossing his face he looked dangerous in a back alley mugger kind of way, but harmless as a ninja.

"Kakashi destroyed both of your eyes," Sai said. "I'm sure we are all quite safe."

Sasuke snarled and tried to sit up again. Sai pushed him back, slightly harder this time.

"You are a fool," Sai said.

"Ha! Said by a Konoha ninja! You're all a bunch of weak losers."

Sai sat back and stared silently. After a few moments Sasuke said, "say something, damn it!"

Sai pulled out his book and flipped through it, checking the bookmarks near the back. He put the dog-eared, well-used book back into his pack. "The book isn't clear about this," Sai said. "I'm trying to decide what I should do."

"What book?" Sasuke asked. "The Shinobi rules? Don't tell me you're one of those that try to live by those ridiculous rules."

"A different book," Sai said.

He leaned forward and examined Sasuke, looking for anything that might answer some questions he'd needed answered for years.

"I can't imagine why they ever thought of you as more than a criminal," Sai said.

Sasuke said nothing, but his sneer let Sai know he was listening. Sai sat and listened to the wind, wondering how long they had until the storm hit, and if the shelter would hold.

"I like Sakura-chan," Sai said. "I don't like many people, just her and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei."

When Sasuke didn't reply Sai continued. "You hurt her, Uchiha Sasuke. I'm trying to decide if letting you live will hurt her more than if I were to kill you."

"Killing me won't make her happy," Sasuke said. "She's one of those people who were born to be unhappy."

"Yes," Sai said. "Like me. Like you too perhaps."

Sakura stepped through the door of pine boughs that barely kept the rain out. She was soaked through, and her pink hair lay plastered against her face. She brushed it away and squatted next to Sai.

"He's awake," Sai said.

Sakura just stared at Sasuke, and Sai watched his friend's face radiate hate. He felt uneasy. He'd seen her angry before – many times. He'd seen her sad, usually because of this Uchiha Sasuke, but he'd never seen her face ugly and twisted with hatred. He wanted to take it away, to make her the Sakura she was before this mission.

"It might be better if you stood guard and I waited here," Sai said. "He's awake enough to talk, and he doesn't seem in danger, so I assume I could handle it."

"What did he say?" Sakura asked.

"Nothing important," Sai said.

"I don't know what you mean to gain by this," Sasuke said, "but you're wasting your time."

"I want Ino's family to see you executed," Sakura said.

"Who's Ino?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura's face reminded Sai of the one time he'd seen a tornado. He stood slowly and backed toward the exit of the shelter, bumping into Sakura in the close quarters. When she didn't do anything but continue to stare at Sasuke with clenched fists, Sai backed out, never taking his eyes off of her.

He ran to the other shelter just as the worst of the storm hit. It stayed upright, but only barely. He stepped inside. Rain dripped into the dark, piney shelter.

"Wake up," he said. "We need to go, now."

Kakashi was instantly awake, but Naruto - never a morning person - had more trouble.

"Wha?" he asked.

Sai glanced in the direction of the other shelter. "Take Kakashi and run. I'll meet you when I can," Sai said.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked.

"Sakura-chan," Sai said. "I think she's about to kill Sasuke, and it might be explosive."

"Take me to her," Kakashi said.

"You're injured," Sai said.

"Sakura isn't going to hurt me," Kakashi said.

"No, but you can't dodge shrapnel at the moment."

"Naruto, help me up," Kakashi said. He struggled to his feet, and Naruto put one arm around his waist and pulled his other arm over his own shoulder.

As soon as they stepped out and the full force of the wind hit them Kakashi completely lost any forward momentum, collapsing against Naruto.

"Sai is right," Naruto said. "You can't even stand against the wind."

"I can't let Sakura do this," Kakashi said. "Help me over there."

When they entered the shelter Sasuke lay on the ground, but Sakura was gone.

Naruto pushed Kakashi in ahead of himself, but Sai had to stay outside in the rain. The cramped shelter could barely hold three people.

Sasuke moved, and if he had eyes he would have been looking in his direction.

"Where did Sakura go?" Naruto asked.

"How should I know?" Sasuke said.

"Leave me here and go find her," Kakashi said.

Naruto helped him to the ground, and he sat on the cold, wet dirt. He decided he'd rather be cold and wet than warm and next to Sasuke. The shelter hadn't been well thought out, and water began to drain inside, drenching the blankets and soaking them both.

"I'll go," Naruto said, and he left Sai and Kakashi with Sasuke.

"Now what?" Sasuke asked. "None of you thought this through, did you?"

"Now we haul your sorry ass back to Konoha," Kakashi said. All of his guilt had dissipated at Sasuke's question. Sakura had used a massive amount of chakra to heal him, at her own risk, and all he would do was mock her and her teammates.

"You should save yourself the time and kill me," Sasuke said.

"You shouldn't be getting wet," Sai said. "I can go back to the other shelter and get the bedrolls, but I want to be here if Sakura gets back."

"Why do you care?" Sasuke asked.

"I wasn't talking to you," Sai said.

"You don't have to worry about me," Kakashi said. "I can travel now if we need to."

Sai opened his mouth but remained silent when Kakashi put a finger over his lips and pointed to Sasuke.

Sai nodded.

"Where did Sakura go?" Kakashi asked.

"To hell for all I care," Sasuke said.

"Something isn't right here," Sai said.

"Nothing is right here," Kakashi said. "But Naruto can find her."

"Why don't you call one of your dogs Kakashi?" Sasuke asked. His voice was almost friendly, if there hadn't been just the touch of mockery in it. The leer on his ruined face told Kakashi all he needed to know, but he decided to find out how much Sasuke knew. He could have been bluffing.

"It's raining," Kakashi said. "Naruto's eyes will work better than a dog's nose right now."

"Perhaps," Sasuke said, "or perhaps you used too much chakra. I've seen your withered chakra coils many times. The family birth defect gives you a great disadvantage, doesn't it?"

Sai moved closer to Kakashi, stepping slightly between him and Sasuke and pulling a kunai.

Kakashi saw that - as usual - Sai showed no emotion, but he stood in a ready stance.

 _He thinks Sasuke might attack_ , Kakashi thought. _Even bound and blind he's still a threat_.

Sasuke smiled broadly this time. "I just heard a weapon being pulled. You should oil those, or they can give you away with that whisper when they leave the sheath."

He cocked his head as if he was listening. "How badly did I injure you, Kakashi? Enough that your little friend feels that he needs to protect you? I know you didn't draw that weapon, or you would have used it by now."

"We need to correct this mistake," Sai said, "before we regret leaving him alive."

"I have a better idea," Kakashi said. He took Sai's kunai and cut a piece off of Sasuke's shirt sleeve. When Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, Kakashi shoved it into his mouth.

"Hold him," he told Sai. Sasuke tried to struggle, but he was still weak enough that Sai held him easily. Kakashi pulled Sasuke's shirt out of his trousers and cut a long strip of cloth, which he wrapped around Sasuke's head, securing the gag but leaving his nose uncovered.

"I've heard enough out of you," he said. "You never appreciated anything anyone tried to do for you, and I won't have you hurting Sakura or Naruto anymore."

He suddenly realized that Sai's dark bird of prey eyes were on him intently.

"There is a better way to keep him from hurting them," Sai said. "He's much safer dead."

"But useless to us," Kakashi said. "We're keeping you alive for a reason, Sasuke. Think about that for awhile."

Naruto stuck his head in through the pine boughs. "I found her," he said. "She said to call her if she's needed, but she's about a quarter mile west, just sitting in the rain."

Kakashi reached a hand up using his good arm, making the same silent signal toward Naruto that he had made toward Sai earlier. Naruto pulled him up and supported him as he had earlier.  
"Let's go get her," Kakashi said.

"I tried," Naruto said. "She was barely even listening, and she had a crazy look in her eyes. She said if she came back she'd kill Sasuke."

Kakashi was glad that he didn't have to hear Sasuke's opinion on that.

"I trust your judgment," he told Sai. "He's a valuable prisoner, but if something happens while we're gone I'll understand. Try not to kill him."

Sai nodded and turned back toward Sasuke.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Naruto asked. "He might kill Sasuke."

"I doubt it," Kakashi said. "If he does I know it will be for a legitimate reason."

"What makes you think you can talk any sense into Sakura?" Naruto yelled over the wind.

"She'll be so mad when she sees me out in this storm that the medic in her will take over. I'll get a good tongue lashing, but if I refuse to go back unless she comes with us I think she will."

"I hope so," Naruto said. "I've never seen her so mad."

Kakashi had seen Sakura angry many times, but he'd never seen her in such a state. She sat on a low hill near the smashed remains of a tree. Her shoulders slumped, and her body shook with sobs.

"Leave me with her," Kakashi said, "and keep that gag in Sasuke's mouth. He can still cause some damage."

He had difficulty controlling his legs, and as he sat by Sakura she looked up. "Naruto, I told you... Kakashi?"

He expected one of her explosive rants about how little he cared for his own health, but instead she leaned onto him, letting him put his arm around her shoulder while she sobbed. Naruto stood by uneasily.

She stopped and wiped her eyes. "What are you doing out here?" She asked.

"Someone had to drag you into what passes for inside around here. We already have an injured team captain and a dangerously exhausted jinchuuriki. We don't need a sick medic too."

"I couldn't stay in there another minute or I would have killed him."

"He had that affect on me too," Kakashi said.

"You killed him?" Sakura asked.

"No, but it was tempting. I don't know when he caught Orochimaru's gift for words, but Sasuke is still very dangerous. I left him with Sai. He can't bother Sai."

He was wrong. Sai sat and stared at Sasuke, who slept next to him. Sai took his kunai out and let it touch Sasuke's throat, sliding it gently just above the jugular.

The moment the steel touched Sasuke's neck he woke, but he had the presence of mind to remain motionless until Sai took the knife away and pulled off the gag.

"I want to kill you," Sai said.

"Nice technique, but you picked the wrong target," he said. "That sort of things frightens lesser men."

"What sort of trash did you associate with after you left Konoha?" Sai asked. "After you threw away and damaged two people who could have saved you?"

"What do you know about it?" Sasuke asked. "What makes you think they could have saved me?"

"Because they saved me," Sai said.

Sasuke laughed. "You're one of Naruto's projects, aren't you?"

"No," Sai said. "I am one of Naruto's friends."

Sasuke laughed, but then coughed as his newly mended ribs ached. Sai made no move to help him.

"Let me tell you something about Naruto," Sasuke said. "There will always be someone he needs to save. You aren't special. If you didn't have some deep problem for him to drown himself in he wouldn't even notice you."

"That is untrue," Sai said.

"How can you know?" Sasuke asked.

"Because it wasn't just him. Kakashi and Sakura were as much a part of it as Naruto."

"Ah, the virtuous Team 7," Sasuke spat.

"No," Sai said. "It became Team Kakashi when I joined. You killed Team 7."

Naruto stuck his head in the shelter. "Can you keep an eye on him for awhile? We're going to be in the other shelter."

"So I understand you saved this one too, huh?" Sasuke said. "Would you have followed him across the five nations if he had refused your generosity?"

"What are you babbling about?" Naruto asked.

"He has some odd ideas about Team Kakashi," Sai said.

"You all always thought you were better than everyone else, as if you weren't a collection of a pervert, a demon, and a slutty..."

He never got to finish because Sai's fist connected solidly with his jaw and knocked him hard on his back. Sai stood over him, and with his voice shaking with anger said, "don't you ever talk about Sakura-chan that way again."

Sasuke spat blood from a split lip and laughed. "I was talking about you."

Naruto put the gag back in Sasuke's mouth. "I think we should leave that there."

"What did you ever see in him?" Sai asked.

"Sakura saw a boy she thought was a strong hero, Kakashi saw an Uchiha who needed his help, and I saw a brother. We were all wrong."

"I only see the man who is continuing to hurt my friends," Sai said. He looked down at his hand and released a clenched fist. "I've never felt anything like that. It was like my reason left, and all I could think about was what he had done to Team Kakashi. It felt like it boiled inside."

"Have you never been angry before?" Naruto asked.

"If that is anger than I have not," Sai said. "I don't like it."

"Maybe I should stay with him and you go with the others," Naruto said.

"No," Sai said. "You are needed there."

Naruto left Sai there, hoping he was doing the right thing.

Sakura had let herself be talked into returning to the shelter. Kakashi had managed to calm her down enough to get her to talk, but hearing her choke out words between sobs stung Naruto.

"He doesn't even remember who Ino was!" Sakura wailed. "She was one of the genins that tried to save him, and now she's dead. After all she did for him when we were kids he doesn't even remember her! We should have killed him the first time we had the chance."

"Yes," Kakashi said, "but we had no way to know how this was going to turn out, with Ino dead and Gai...injured."

"Sai is watching Sasuke over there," Naruto said. "You're probably not going to believe this, but Sasuke actually managed to make Sai mad."

"That's enough," Sakura said, standing. "We had a history with Sasuke. Sai wasn't even there. He shouldn't have to do this. It's wrong for him to suffer for our past."

"He got mad because Sasuke said something bad about you," Naruto said. "We put a gag in his mouth."

"You what?" Sakura asked. "You can't just put a gag in one of my patient's mouths without asking me first!"

"Sakura, can we put a gag in Sasuke's mouth?" Kakashi asked, any emotion carefully covered with a neutral expression.

"Sure," Sakura said. "It will keep him from spreading more venom, at least."

"I want to leave for Konoha as soon as we can," Kakashi said. "How long do you think it will be until he can travel?"

"If Sasuke feels well enough to cause this much trouble then he can travel. What about you? Are you having any side effects from the blood pill? They can happen up to three days after taking one, sometimes longer."

"Just some nausea, but that was over hours ago."

"What side effects?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi waved his hand dismissively and tried to find a dryer piece of ground. "I don't think any of us are going to get any sleep tonight."

He moved the sodden bedroll to a corner. "There's no point in even trying to sleep."

"It isn't cold enough to freeze, but we could all get sick out here like this," Sakura said. "The storm is letting up enough that we could head toward that cave."

"It will take us at least an hour to get there," Kakashi said.

"We should get Sai and decide how we're going to transport Sasuke."

Sai was less than enthused about the idea, but he agreed to carry Sasuke while Naruto carried Kakashi through the rain.


	3. Chapter 3

They didn't have much that wasn't soaked besides what was in waterproof bags in their packs, and they decided it didn't make sense to change into dry clothes for a run in the rain, so they spent a miserable hour until they got to the cave. As they left the battle field and crossed into virgin forest, they were grateful for the cover. Traveling at night under a nearly full moon in the open wasn't a good idea, even with the smoke cover from the burning forest. They were far enough from any villiages that they didn't have to worry about discovery, but they all felt better when they left the open battlefield.

When they reached the cave Naruto set about making a small fire just inside the cave's mouth, so that the smoke would be pulled out instead of choking them. After he sat up a few basic platforms made of rocks they hung their clothes up to dry after Sakura went slightly deeper into the cave to change.

Kakashi's stomach rumbled loudly, and he pulled out two ration bars. He pulled the gag out of Sasuke's mouth and put a bar in his hand.

"You lousy, perverted, good-for-nothing..." Sasuke began.

"If you keep using your mouth for talking instead of eating I'll put the gag back," Kakashi said.

Sasuke threw the ration bar at him, and Kakashi caught it while it was still in the air.

Naruto put the gag back in Sasuke's mouth, but he needed Sai's help. "He's getting stronger," Naruto said.

"Yes, and I'll kill you all before I'm done," Sasuke said just before Naruto managed to slip the gag in.

Kakashi quickly ate a full day's worth of rations. "I forgot how hungry those pills make me," he said. He noticed Sasuke's head tilt slightly as he spoke.

 _He's listening to everything_ , he thought _. He's still looking for an advantage. Such a waste_.

Sai volunteered for 1st watch. It only made sense. He'd used the least jutsus, and he was the least exhausted. His artistic jutsus weren't much use against an opponent like Sasuke, so he'd stuck to jujutsu and distracting Sasuke for the rest of Team Kakashi, darting in and out and cutting with his kunai.

They all stayed near the fire, with Sasuke and Sai near each other, and Sai watching him as if he expected an attack any moment.

Sakura lay alone, as usual, and Naruto lay only a few feet away from Kakashi.

"What side effects are there to blood pills?" he asked.

Kakashi glanced toward Sasuke, trying to judge if he could have heard them.

"Quiet!" he whispered. "Don't give him any information he can use later."

"Ok," Naruto whispered, "but what are they?"

"There are a lot, but I'm not having any problems, so don't worry about it."

Everyone but Sai slept, but Naruto woke a couple hours later when he heard Kakashi mumbling.

 _Just Sensei_ , he thought, and he was about to fall asleep again when Kakashi sat up with a gasp. Sai and Sakura were instantly battle ready, and their first instinct was to make sure Sasuke was secure. Naruto however, turned toward Kakashi, who had a surprised and confused look.

"You ok?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. He noticed everyone looking at him and smiled, somehow still wearing the mask. "Sorry, sorry," he said. "Bad dream. How silly of me,"

Sakura groaned. "Baka Sensei." She lay down again.

"I'm sure Gai Sensei is fine," Naruto said. "You were talking to him in your sleep."

Kakashi gave a warning glance toward Sasuke. "Let's go outside." He let Naruto help him up and then out of the cave.

"You're getting stronger already," Naruto said. "I know you're trying to hide it from me, but I know chakra exhaustion when I see it."

"It isn't anywhere near as bad as it's been before. You should know by now that I bounce back. The leg needs attention, but that will have to wait until Sakura builds her chakra reserves after healing Sasuke."

"Did she use too much chakra too?" Naruto asked, glancing at the cave.

"It isn't a problem," Kakashi said quickly. He didn't need a nervous, over protective Naruto on his hands.

"Why did you want to come out here?" Naruto asked.

"I was thinking about the first attack," Kakashi said, "when Gai went down. Do you remember him moving at all, or making any sounds?"

"No," Naruto said, "but I was more focused on fighting Sasuke. It's weird, but for some reason what I remember most is Ino, with her head laying there with that purple flower over her ear. It still seems so weird that she's dead."

"Wait, did you say purple flower?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because Ino wasn't wearing a purple flower," Kakashi said.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked. "Did you use the Sharingan?"

"No, but I had been looking at her earlier. Ino's new outfit was very... um..."

"Noticeable?" Naruto asked.

"That's one way to put it," Kakashi said. "I've seen more cloth on a large doll."

"But if she wasn't wearing a purple flower, then who was that on the ground?" Naruto asked.

"It was Ino," Sakura said behind them. "I helped her put it in her hair. You just weren't looking that high."

"Sakura-chan, it's rude to eavesdrop," Kakashi said.

"It's rude to read porn in public too."

"Fair enough."

"I heard you ask about Gai," Sakura said. "I think he was alive when we had to leave him with the medic, but you need to prepare yourself for the worst. That wound looked really bad."

"Gai-sensei is a fighter though," Naruto said. "He's tough, and he had a medic working on him."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I'm focusing on that."

They went in and found Sai crouching by Sasuke, staring at him with unblinking eyes.

"Sai, are you ok?" Sakura asked.

"No," Sai said. "I think I hate him for hurting all of you. I've never hated anyone before."

Sakura knelt and put her arms around Sai. "I'm so sorry. You weren't even on Team 7, but our pain has infected you."

"I hate him because I love you, Sakura-chan," Sai said softly.

That stopped everyone from whatever they were doing at the moment. Naruto looked up from tending the fire, Kakashi stopped trying to ease an itch by scratching a couple inches away from his leg wound, and Sakura suddenly gave Sai her full attention. Even Sasuke turned toward Sai, although he seemed to let out a muffled laugh.

"I bought a new book," Sai said, ignoring Naruto's groan. "It said to tell you at a good time. I don't think there will be a good time, not how we live. And I really want to kill him because of it."

"Sai, I think..." Sakura started. She looked at everyone watching her. "I think we should go outside and talk."

Sai nodded and stood. If he felt any nervousness he didn't show it.

After they left, Naruto asked, "do you think he can feel love?"

"I don't know. I'm never really sure what he can feel," Kakashi said. He noticed Sasuke chuckle under the gag. "I forgot dumbass was here." He kicked Sasuke with his good leg, just hard enough to get his attention.

"You keep your mouth shut about this when we take that gag off to feed you, or I'll break your fingers."

"I wouldn't cross Sai when it comes to Sakura," Naruto said. "I don't know what happened last year on that mission, but he's been protective of her ever since."

Sai came in and sat by Sasuke, watching him.

"Sai?" Kakashi asked.

No answer.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked.

"Thinking," Sai said. "Sakura needs time to mourn her friend's death. I had bad timing, but if he hadn't killed Ino I think Sakura might have answered me differently. Or not. I have no experience with this sort of thing."

Naruto was stirring the fire, watching Sai watch Sasuke. "Did she tell you she thought of you as a brother?"

"No," Sai said.

"When you can have some hope, if you'll wait for her. It might be a long wait."

"I'll wait," Sai said. "She's very important to me."

"Sai, what do you think love means?" Naruto asked.

When Sasuke let out another muffled chuckle under his gag, Kakashi kicked him again, this time harder and aiming for his bad rib.

Sasuke grunted and bent double.

"No more," Kakashi said. "We've all had enough out of you."

"Sakura wouldn't like you doing that to her patient," Sai said. "I think that's why I love her." His mouth stretched as if he was trying to smile but didn't quite know how. "She is everything I'm not."

"Where is she?" Naruto asked.

"Walking," Sai said. "She wants to be alone. She was named incorrectly. She's far too strong the be named after a decorative tree. She should have been named Oku."

This time Sasuke let out a laugh that was distinct even under the gag.

Kakashi kicked him harder with his good leg, slamming him against the wall. "Enough!" he said. "I have had it with you!"

"I see you're well enough to assault my patient," Sakura said. Sasuke was coughing, and when she pulled the gag out of his mouth he coughed up blood.

"Great," she said. "He had a hairline fracture in his rib, and now you broke it and punctured his lung. Just because I healed it doesn't mean it isn't still weak."

"Can't say I'm sorry for it," Kakashi said. "I have watched him ruin most of the people I've ever cared for."

Sakura began to heal Sasuke. "I was just getting enough chakra to work on your leg, and now I have to waste it on him. I thought you wanted to take him back."

"I do," Kakashi said. "I just keep remembering what Gai looked like when he died." He stopped. "He couldn't have survived that wound."

"That isn't true," Naruto said.

"He's dealt with some bad injuries," Sakura said. "Don't give up hope yet."

Sasuke had blood on his chin, and he looked weakened, but he smirked at them.

"I remember Ino now," he said. "That blonde girl I decapitated? Did you know it takes a lot of force to decapitate someone? I had to really put some effort into it."

"As for that idiot Gai-Sensei, I didn't miss. You saw the blood, and I put a hole right through his stomach. Thank you for teaching me the Chidori, Sensei. How does it feel to know that your signature move killed your best friend?"

Sai drew his weapon and stepped to Sasuke. He was trembling with rage. No one stopped him.

"Maybe it's better if we just kill him," Kakashi said wearily.

"He should face justice," Sakura said.

Naruto said nothing, but he looked more miserable than he had since he was a child. 

"His words do more damage than his jutsus," Kakashi said.

Sai raised his weapon, but he hesitated and lowered it. "We are letting our emotions control our actions, and I think that we need to stop and think about this."

"That's how a Konoha ninja acts," Sasuke said. "Commit to an action and then wimp out because you're taught to be soft. I would have killed all of you and been at home having dinner by now."

"Yes," Sai said, "but you are a monster, something we don't wish to be."

Sasuke snorted. "You hear that Naruto? Your pet doesn't like monsters. I guess that means you two are going to have to break up. I'm sure Kakashi will still have you. He was always reading trash. He'll probably screw trash too."

"Just one more good kick?" Kakashi asked Sakura. "I'll aim for somewhere non-vital."

"No," Sakura said. "His empty words mean nothing, because he means nothing, and besides, even using your good leg is a bad idea right now. Do you want more problems?"

Naruto sat quietly. The shadows dancing from the fire leant his bent figure a sinister look, actually a little monstrous.

A low, rumbling growl filled the cave, and when Naruto looked up his cheeks had distinct whisker marks, his teeth had elongated into fangs, and his eyes had turned yellow and harsh.

"Naruto, calm down," Kakashi said. "We're not in danger."

"You are all in danger," Kurama said, his careful enunciation and his emerging chakra letting Kakashi know that Naruto wasn't the one talking. "Snakes bite even after they die. He's trying to make you kill him so he doesn't have to return to Konoha to be tortured, and in the meantime he's poisoning all of you."

Kurama growled. "Leave the cave and I'll let my chakra burn him. It'd a painful, slow way to die. Then you can have your revenge without dirtying your hands with his death."

"And put that guilt on Naruto?" Sakura asked. "No."

"Naruto was hurt by that last statement," Kurama said. "I have removed him far away in his own mind. He is safely huddled in my fur, hiding from all of this. If you don't tell him he'll never know."

"He's hiding in his brain?" Sasuke asked. "I knew he was insane, but I had no idea he let a mangy demon that was so weak he got sealed in a baby console him. He is truly worthless."

Kurama's chakra flared, and two tails came out. Kakashi scooted away from Naruto.

"Watch your tails," he said. "I don't want chakra poisoning."

Kurama was still except for the waving of his tails. He stared at Sasuke, and without breaking eye contact said, "I haven't injected poison in my chakra yet. I know what you're doing, you doomed frightened, snack-sized filth, but I will not lose my temper and kill you. I want you to die slowly for hurting my container."

"Is Naruto ok?" Sakura asked.

"No," Kurama said. "Since he learned who I am he's had a fear of you and Kakashi turning on him, calling him trash, and abandoning him, as so many others did. When that filth said that last thing to him, I felt Naruto's pain. I want to hurt someone for it."

"Why would he even think that?" Sakura asked.

"You let him know you never cared for him as a child," Kurama said. "He never really believed that you see him as more than a freak. He tries to believe, but I know there are times when he wonders."

"Doesn't he know we care about him?" Kakashi asked.

"You," Kurama spat. "I hated Naruto when he was a child, but when he got older and learned to pity such as me, how could I not care for him? When he was a child I used to enjoy watching the mistreatment he got from his village, but I am at least inhuman."

"You never cared about what happened to your Sensei's son, Kakashi. None of the adults did. I helped fight Obito because of Naruto, but I only associate with you for Naruto's sake. If you had helped him he wouldn't be in this pain right now."

"I never hurt Naruto, and by the time I learned how poorly treated he was he was on my team. I did what I could for him after that."

"He told you what his landlord did," Kurama said, "and you gave him some teacherly advice and did nothing."

"I couldn't very well make the man lower his rent."

Kurama had been staring at Sasuke, but he turned his attention to Kakashi. "But did you have to allow the boy to be beaten? What lesson did that teach him?"

"Beaten?" Kakashi asked. "When?"

"He told you what his landlord was doing. He asked you what would happen if he killed a civilian while defending himself, and you told him about Shinobi rules on dealing with civilians. Because he wasn't sure if he could defend himself against a weak civilian without killing him, Naruto let him cane him. He was under your protection, and you did nothing."

"Kids ask all kinds of random questions. I never knew," Kakashi said. "I swear!"

"I healed the wounds - and there were serious wounds - but he tried to tell you. You never listened, and it wasn't until he left with Jiraiya that the beatings stopped."

"I don't know what to say," Kakashi said. "Let me talk to him."

"He'll come out when he's ready. Right now I have full control, and I want to tell you finally how much he needed you, and how badly you failed him."

"It isn't true!" Sakura said. "Kakashi did help us."

"No," Kakashi said. "He's right. I missed all the signs, and if I hadn't been putting so much energy into Sasuke I would have seen it."

Kakashi looked away from Kurama, unable to meet his blazing eyes.

"I know that I'm trash. I accept your accusations."

Kurama cocked his head. "I didn't expect that. In my experience humans will do almost anything but accept fault in themselves."

"It's just one more thing I failed at," Kakashi said. "I didn't even know."

All of them were focused on Kurama except Sai, who kept a wary eye on Sasuke.

"Naruto forgave you," Kurama said. "I've worked with you, but I cannot forgive you."

"So how much did the landlord hurt Naruto?" Sasuke asked. "I hope he really laid into him."

Another tail grew from Kurama, and his fangs grew longer.

"Sakura, if you don't gag him right now I might kill him after all," Kurama said, "and I think we all agree that we want him to live for our own reasons."

"He doesn't need to eat every meal," Sakura said. "Once a day will be enough to get him back to Konoha alive. Let's keep the gag on."

"Hai," Kakashi said.

Kurama was still smoldering in his anger. "Naruto is reasserting his power over me. I'm leaving now, but we will finish this conversation later, Kakashi."

The tails faded one by one, and when the yellow glow in his eyes disappeared, they knew he was back.

"Naruto? Is it you?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah. Don't listen to what he says. I don't have resentment toward you, Kakashi. I know that I never told you directly, and you would have stopped what happened. Kids just don't know how to say things sometimes."

Kakashi stared at the fire. "You don't have to say that," he said.

They all fell awkwardly silent, until Sasuke said, "pathetic".

"Sai, put the gag in," Kakashi said. "Kurama was right. He can still cause damage."

Sasuke tried to fight Sai. "He's getting stronger."

"We have a two day trip back to Konoha. Two days without food or water should keep him too weak to fight."

"If you want him to live we should keep him hydrated," Sakura said.

"We'll take care of that when it's time," Kakashi said. "Just wet down the fabric on the gag. He can suck the water out so we don't have to hear him spew poison."

When they woke from what little sleep they were able to get, Sakura finally had enough chakra to work on Kakashi's leg. He stood and tested it.

"Feels fine. We can go now. I think you and Sai should go on ahead with Sasuke. I'll slow you down. Naruto and I can travel together."

Naruto hadn't woken yet.

"I think we need to talk when he wakes up," Kakashi said.


	4. Chapter 4

After they left Kakashi watched the dying fire's embers, pushing a log with a stick and stirring the embers. Naruto woke and stretched.

"Where is everyone?" he asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"I sent them on ahead," Kakashi said. "We need to talk about what happened last night."

"Last night is over," Naruto said. "I just want to go home."

"I never knew anyone was beating you," Kakashi said.

Naruto looked at him sharply. "I had the oddest dream that Kurama came out and told you that."

"It was no dream," Kakashi said.

"He was out of line. I don't have any resentment toward you. He does."

"I wish... I don't even know," Kakashi said. "I missed all the signs. Did anyone else hurt you?"

"It isn't important," Naruto said.

"It is important," Kakashi said.

"It's too late to worry about it," Naruto said. "I got past it, and it's over. Let's go."

The chill morning air was tinged with the smoky smell from the forest fire, and the dampness of the storm clung to the campsite.

Naruto refused to meet eye contact, and they traveled silently until Kakashi's leg began to ache. He tried to hide it, but an hour later Naruto looked over and said, "I think we should make camp early. Sakura will kick your ass if you mess your leg up after she healed it."

The sun was still high enough they could travel at least several more hours, but Kakashi didn't want to deal with Sakura. He wanted to know about Gai enough to push on.

"I can make it," he said reluctantly. "Let's keep going."

"You'll have her and Tsunade-sama to deal with," Naruto said.

"Right. We'll stop then." Naruto spent the time silently setting up camp and avoiding eye contact.

"Why did you decide to become a ninja?" Naruto asked.

"I never really did decide. It was just always a part of my life. I was using chakra before I even knew what it was. My father taught me to spar as soon as I could grip a weapon."

"So you couldn't have been anything else if you wanted to?"

Kakashi remembered the few times he questioned his position. "There was no other path for me to travel."

"Do you hate your father for that?" Naruto asked.

"No. I used to hate him for failing and leaving me, but Obito helped me see past that."

"I hate my father," Naruto said.

"Noni?"

"All he did for me was curse me, even if he didn't mean to. But he did the right thing. If I hadn't been sacrificed thousands of people would have probably died."

"Yes, but I'm sure he never meant for you to be sacrificed."

"Does it matter in the end? You and Iruka and Jiraiya filled his place. How could I hate you when you tried to fix what he'd broken, even if you didn't know what you were doing?"

"That's something, I suppose," Kakashi said, "but still, if I had realized..."

"Jiraiya took care of that a few years ago," Naruto said.

"That recently? What did he do?"

"He taught me a few strikes that won't kill a civilian. They're hard to use, because civilians are so fragile, but I was able to stop the beatings."

"Why do you still live there?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto shrugged. "It's home, I guess. Anywhere else is just another place to be."

Kakashi thought of his own silent apartment, a neutral and unassuming part of his life. "I suppose an empty place can't be home," he said.

"I always felt like the Hokage Tower was home," Naruto said. "Gramps used to help me with math and spelling. The secretary always let me know she didn't want me around, but I never cared."

"I was too busy proving things to the world to ever make a home," Kakashi said.

"Like Sasuke," Naruto said.

"Very much like Sasuke."

"You didn't go nuts and start killing people in your father's name though, like he did for his family."

"No, but I turned my anger inside, and at my father for years after his death. I was brittle and hateful to everyone that I thought was lower than me, which was a lot of people."

"Like Sasuke."

"Hai. If I had someone alive to focus all of that on, and a mentor who offered me the power to gain revenge I might have gone the same direction."

"I don't believe it," Naruto said. "You did have someone you could have blamed for your pain and focused your anger on, but you never did."

"Who?"

"Me," Naruto said. "A lot of villagers did that. Kurama is full of shit. Team 7 was home to me. He had no right to come out like that."

"He made it sound like he was doing you a favor, like you were traumatized and needed to hide."

"No," Naruto said. "He spoke to me in my mind, and we started talking. I thought I nodded off at the fire and dreamed all that. He might be friendlier than he used to be, but he's still a manipulative bastard."

"He seems to care about you."

"Yeah, but we're going to have to talk about what he did."

Naruto had a bad habit of wanting to chat well past bedtime, but Kakashi decided to indulge him, and as they looked up at the stars he tried to remember the signs that he'd missed of Naruto's abuse.

"I don't think Sasuke will make it back to Konoha alive," Naruto said.

"I don't either," Kakashi said. "I was more concerned about you last night, and I might have killed him myself if I had to travel with him."

"But I thought it was important to get him back to Konoha," Naruto said.

"It would be useful, but I doubt that's going to happen. Sakura has a strong motive to get him back, but I don't know what Sai will do. I just want to avenge Gai."

"Gai Sensei is really strong," Naruto said. "He might still be alive."

"Sakura wouldn't have left him behind with an unfamiliar medic if there was a chance of him surviving," Kakashi said. "She must have lied to spare my feelings."

"The way Sasuke was fighting she didn't have a chance to stop," Naruto said. "He was too strong. If she'd stayed there would have been more casualties."

"Naruto, don't try to give me hope. It hurts more than accepting his death."

"I'll hope for us both then," Naruto said.

Naruto woke well into the night to find Kakashi gone, but he saw him some distance away, leaning against a tree and looking at the dark lake they had camped near. When he listened carefully he heard his Sensei's sobs.

 _Maybe Gai-Sensei lived, somehow_ , Naruto thought.

 _Why do you care_? Kurama asked _. I'm glad to see Kakashi miserable_.

 _He's my friend_ , Naruto said to his mind mate. _I don't care if you don't understand it. Leave him alone.  
_  
Kurama growled. _If you ever change your mind let me know. I'd love to kill him and Iruka. The only one I would spare is Jiraiya._

 _I'm tired,_ Naruto said _. I don't want to talk anymore._

The next morning Kakashi's leg was stiff, and he had to work out a cramp before they could travel.

"I thought Sakura fixed it," Naruto said.

"She had some chakra problems," Kakashi said. "I don't know if it is as well as she thought."

As they neared Konoha Kakashi became silent and morose.

"I'll go to the hospital with you," Naruto said. "Maybe Gai is there."

"I have to report first," Kakashi said. "I'll talk to you later."

Tsunade was irritated, as usual. He wasn't sure why, and he didn't care. He just kept pushing back the intruding thoughts of Gai lying broken and torn on the field.

"Am I boring you?" Tsunade asked with a dangerous edge to her voice.

"Sorry, Tsunade-sama."

He waited for her to get through with her rant about the general state of abuse he kept his body in, but he couldn't focus for long.

"Oh, just go see him already," Tsunade said. "You are no use to me."

"Noni?"

"I'm sure you've been thinking about either Gai or Sasuke. You obviously aren't listening to me. Go take care of your business and come back to give your report "

"I have no desire to see Sasuke, and I can visit Gai's grave later. Forgive my rudeness."

"What do you mean his grave? He's in the hospital."

"Noni?" He couldn't let himself believe her.

"He happened to be healed by an amazing medic. We didn't know the extent of her powers until now."

"You mean he's alive?"

"Yes. You need to be prepared though. He's deeply depressed, and the change from his usual attitude is shocking."

Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving his Master alone. Tsunade buzzed Shizune.

"Get someone in here to clean up. Kakashi left in a hurry again."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Shizune said.

She looked around at the mess. "And find me someone that can put a chakra blocking jutsu on this room. I'm tired of him doing this."

Kakashi materialized outside the hospital, and he barely restrained himself from running.

He hated to see Gai alone in the hospital room, but it was full of flowers, cards, and a large stuffed turtle someone had bought him - probably Naruto. For just a couple of seconds Kakashi was jealous of Naruto, but he forgot uncharitable feelings as he watched Gai sleep.

He looked peaceful enough in his sleep, as long as Kakashi ignored the machines attached to him, but when he woke Kakashi saw the listless look of a man in pain. Gai pressed the morphine button.

"I heard you got him," Gai said.

"Hai. We thought he killed you, but I should have known better. You'll outlive me just to make a point."

"I'm not so sure about that," Gai said. "Not with what happened."

"How bad is it?" Kakashi asked.

Gai pulled the blanket down, revealing his chest. A large tube ran from his chest, and various tubes gave him a disturbingly machine like appearance. A medical apparatus was attached to his chest. It was the size of a cigar box, and various lights blinked, sending out fluids at intervals.

"It could be worse," Kakashi said. "I still can't believe you survived."

"The medic cauterized the wound. My stomach is destroyed. I'll never take a mission again. I'm done, Kakashi. No more students, no more challenges. My youth is dead, and now I have to keep going somehow."

Of all the things that went through Kakashi's head, none of them seemed right to say.

"It could be worse," he said.

"Don't you understand? I have no stomach! I'll never even eat properly again. They have to send pureed food directly into my intestines."

Kakashi knew he wasn't the best at situations that needed social grace. He just usually didn't care. He awkwardly made his way through the rest of the visit, feeling even more down than when he'd thought Gai was dead.

He passed Naruto on the way back to the Tower, but he ignored his question about...something. He wasn't listening enough to catch it, and he mumbled something about having a meeting.

Tsunade was with someone, so he had to wait in the lobby. He looked out the window, watching the village life as the people scurried around.

He slowly realized that Shizune was talking to him.

"What?" he asked as he was pulled from his trance.

"I said Tsunade-sama can see you now. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he said.

Shizune watched him walk into Tsunade's office. "Liar," she said quietly.

"Now that you've gotten that out of the way can you give a proper report?" she asked.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," he said. Halfway through the report he trailed off absentmindedly, staring out of the window.

Tsunade cleared her throat loudly, and Kakashi stammered.

"Sorry Hokage-sama. I guess I got lost there for a moment."

"That's one way of putting it. Is there anything of importance you need to tell me? Because it's definitely time for you to sleep."

"That's the highlights. The rest is just details."

"Write it up later and give it to the mission director or bring it over here. I want you to take the next two days off."

"Yes, Tsuanade-sama." He couldn't keep the leaden weariness out of his voice.

"And Kakashi, try not to spend too much time in the graveyard while you recover. That can't be healthy."

He wasn't thinking about the graveyard. He was thinking about the most irritating, loyal friend he'd ever had, and he went directly to Gai's room, only to find it empty. A cold shiver ran through his body, and his mouth went dry. _I should have been here,_ he thought. _I hope he didn't die alone._

A nurse approached him. "If you're looking for Maito Gai, he's in surgery," she said. "We would have alerted his family, but it was an emergency."

"An emergency? What happened?"

"I don't know," she said. "We're doing everything we can for him. He has a strong fighting spirit."

"He does," Kakashi said, but he remembered the gaping hole in Gai's stomach, the one filled with tubes and fluids.

Suddenly the room felt claustrophobic, and the nurse felt too close for comfort. He called Pakkun. "Stay here until you get some information about Gai. I have to get away from all these people."

"You can't have a dog in the hospital!" the nurse said.

"He's a summon. They're clean," Kakashi said.

"You know where I'll be," he told Pakkun.

"Sure Boss," Pakkun said. He sat by the door to Gai's room and looked at the confused nurse. "Yo."

The graveyard happened to be near a busy street, and Naruto saw Kakashi there as he was passing. He hopped the fence. Kakashi didn't even acknowledge his presence. He simply stood and stared at the memorial stone with his hands in his pockets.

"Out here again?" Naruto asked.

"I feel more comfortable among the dead," Kakashi said. "They understand me."

"Ok Sensei. That's enough crazy talk. Let's go. I'll walk you home."

"Don't patronize me," Kakashi said. "I need to be alone."

"Then I'll be alone with you," Naruto said.

Kakashi sighed. "I'm just stressed. This is a good place to think."

Naruto stood quietly as a fine rain began to fall. 10 minutes passed.

"Thanks," Kakashi said. "I'm going to go check on Gai."

"I went by this morning. How is he?"

"In surgery. He might in up in the Home at this rate. I don't know how he'll take that. Some ninjas write books or teach small classes there, but it's hard to imagine Gai bedbound."

When they returned the room was still empty, but Pakkun was gone from his place outside the door.

"That's not like him," Kakashi said.

"Pssst. Boss," they heard whispered. Pakkun stuck his head out from behind the drapes. "They tried to get rid of me."

"Have you heard anything?" Kakashi asked.

"No," Pakkun said. "But he hasn't been in there long. It's going to be a long wait."

"I'll wait with you," Naruto said.

"Thank you, but I really do want to be alone."

"Well, you know if you need anything…" Naruto said. He patted Kakashi on the back.

"I know," Kakashi said. "Same here."

Naruto left him in the waiting room, and Kakashi thought the only thing worse in a hospital than waking alone or waiting for the morphine timer to count down was the wait for a friend to live or die.

He went to the waiting room. It was empty, for which he was grateful. It was in an out of the way part of the hospital, so he could hear distant discussions and the occasional clop clop of nurses' shoes. The faint new carpet smell and cookie cheap blue fabric chairs combined to form a familiar atmosphere.

If he concentrated he could almost imagine that he was in a hotel lobby. They looked almost the same.

The TV became annoying, and he turned it off, leaving the room almost silent.

He couldn't imagine life without Gai, life without his best friend, and the only person who ever truly knew him.

He waited over two hours until eventually a nurse told him he could visit Gai.

Gai's eyes were open slightly, but Kakashi thought he was still barely conscious. He sat by Gai and studied his face.

 _At least he's still alive,_ he thought. _That's something. Where there's life there's hope. Who said that? Seems like something Sensei would have said, or Jiraiya._

A large lump under the blanket showed where the machinery had been implanted into his chest.

Gai's eyes closed, and Kakashi wondered if they'd ever open again.


	5. Chapter 5

The next shift came and went, but no one asked him to leave. Other ninjas visited – Gai had many friends, and they left flowers, stuffed animals, cards. Most of them tried to comfort Kakashi, but he barely spoke to them, preferring silence. Talking made him feel raw inside.

Gai came around slowly, and 6 hours later Sakura found Kakashi still sitting in his room.

"How long have you been here?" she asked.

"Since he got out of surgery," Kakashi said. "I'm surprised I haven't seen you sooner."

"Sensei, I've been in here twice," Sakura said. "You have to go home and sleep. He might still be days before he's coherent. I thought you just didn't want to talk, but you must be dangerously exhausted if you didn't even notice me."

Gai's eyelids twitched, and his half open eyes rolled slightly.

"I'll stay," Kakashi said. "Every moment is precious, and I won't lose any of them."

"It's been over a day since we got home," Sakura said. "Have you even eaten?"

"Sakura, I don't need a Mother."

Sakura left, but she came back shortly afterwards with a sandwich. "At least eat," she said.

He listlessly took a bite of the flavorless turkey sandwich and chewed slowly.

"More than that," Sakura said when he sat the sandwich on the bedside table.

"Later," Kakashi said.

"This is a bad enough situation, and one of the side effects of blood pills is depression. Gai wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

Kakashi didn't bother replying.

"He's almost this bad when you're injured," Sakura said.

"I wish it was me on that bed instead of him," Kakashi said. "He never did anything to anyone. He doesn't deserve this."

"You don't either," Sakura said.

"Just let me have this," Kakashi said. "I know you outrank me here, but I'll never forgive myself if I'm not here when he needs me for the last time."

"I have rounds to make. If you eat at least half of that sandwich before I come back you can stay," Sakura said.

He picked up the dry sandwich and chewed dutifully, waiting until Sakura left to throw the rest into the bathroom trash, tearing off a bit and leaving it on the plate so she would assume he ate the rest.

His stomach cramped, but he ignored it. As day turned into night his body gave into exhaustion despite his will, and he slumped forward in the seat.

When Gai woke he viewed the world through a curtain of pain and drugs. He managed to hit the morphine button, and awareness faded again.

A few hours later he woke enough to recognize a slumped form in the chair by the bed.

"Kakashi?" he asked, his voice scratchy and quiet.

Kakashi woke instantly. "Gai? It's about time you woke up, lazy bones."

Gai was too out of it to notice the forced cheerfulness in Kakashi's tone, or the pale countenance or bloodshot eye. Kakashi got him a glass of water, but he hesitated.

 _Can he even drink anymore?_ He wondered. He called the nurse instead and moved back so she could work on Gai.

"Wait outside please," the nurse said.

Kakashi stepped outside and leaned against the wall, listening to the sounds inside. The days of injuries and mistreating his body caught up to him, and his knees felt weak. His field of vision narrowed, and he found himself looking through a tunnel.

He heard a voice far away, and someone pressed something into his hand, and then raised it to his lips. The sharp tang of orange juice pulled him to, and he found himself sitting on the floor with a nurse kneeling in front of him with a cup of juice and a hand on his shoulder holding him upright against the wall. Naruto stood behind her.

"Sir? Can you hear me?" she asked.

"Yes." He stood, shaky but unassisted.

"I've seen this before. You haven't rested since your friend was hurt, have you?"

She turned to Naruto. "Take him down to the cafeteria and get him to eat," she said, "and I don't want to see him back here for at least 8 hours."

Kakashi walked slowly to the cafeteria, flanked by a worried Naruto. He sat heavily at a café table while Naruto ordered and then ate a few bites of oatmeal. His hand shook visibly, and he nodded off over the oatmeal.

After about half a bowl and several times when Naruto had to shake his arm slightly to keep him from falling asleep in his oatmeal, Naruto allowed him to stop.

He walked Kakashi back to the waiting room closest to Gai's room, with Kakashi silently allowing himself to be led.

"You can't do this to yourself," Naruto said. "You've been injured in a long battle, had a blood pill, sat up with Gai for who knows how long, and I can tell you haven't eaten or slept in forever."

Kakashi sat on one of the larger chairs and leaned back, trying to find a comfortable position. His head fell to the side and his body slumped again. Only years of practice sleeping in awkward positions on missions kept him from sliding off the chair.

Naruto sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

Kakashi woke later with Naruto sitting nearby, reading an out of date hunting magazine.

"How long was I out?" he asked.

"A couple of hours," Naruto said.

Kakashi sat up straight. "Gai…"

"He's stable," Naruto said. "The nurse said he's out of danger, for now. Sakura and Tsunade operated on him, and there are no better doctors in the world. You know that."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "They are the best."

"So you can go home now," Naruto said.

"Let me check on him one more time," Kakashi said.

Gai met him with a weak smile. "It looks like I might just live to spar again."

Kakashi glanced at the lump that covered Gai's ruined body. "As soon as you're out," Kakashi said. "Can't let you sit around getting bored, can I?"

Gai laughed, a quiet weak sound compared to his usual braying guffaw. His eyes drooped.

"I'll let you rest," Kakashi said. "I'll be back."

He finally left the hospital. It felt like his house was a million miles away, and by the time he'd walked the mile home his feet felt like lead. He fell face first onto his bed without even removing his shoes and was sleeping in seconds.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ibiki opened the door to Sasuke's cell and looked at the degenerate. He'd been healed, but he had three long scars crossing his face diagonally from near his left temple to under his right eye. His eyes were the worst. The healers hadn't bothered with his appearance; that was certain. Someone had slashed through both of his eyes with one powerful swipe, cutting deep and wide. Dark holes where his eyes had been haunted whoever had the misfortune to see him.

The once handsome nose was off center from Sakura's punch, and Sasuke's jaw was slightly crooked, giving him a rough look. If he hadn't been blind he would have fit in as a dock worker, not the elite ninja he had been.

Sasuke looked up, not at Ibiki but forward. "Who's there?" he asked.

Ibiki leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, smirking at the discomfort he knew he was causing Sasuke.

"Fine," Sasuke said. "It doesn't matter, does it?"

 _I wish they'd let me at him,_ Ibiki thought. He closed the door, leaving Sasuke alone in the dark even though Sasuke didn't know.

Two officers brought Sasuke basic rations and water. One stood guard outside the cell while the other unbound one hand.

Sasuke ate silently and let them bind him. He wasn't worried. It was only a matter of time before the police slipped up and he escaped. They were Konoha ninjas after all, weak and sloppy. Most of the police force were Chunin level or lower.

"I wish we could mess that face up some more," one of the guards said.

"Ibiki wants him recognizable. There's going to be a public execution, and he wants everyone to see him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tsunade frowned over Gai's chart and tapped a pencil on it absentmindedly. "It might work," she muttered.

She stepped to the nearest nurses' station. "Summon Inoichi Yamanaka. Tell him to drop whatever he's doing and get over here."

"Gai, we have an option that I haven't discussed, because it's a long shot. I need to consult someone first, but don't give up hope."

"Hope is no longer necessary," Gai said. "I've made my peace with what's happening."

"Don't give up just yet," she said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When the door opened to his cell, Sasuke sniffed. He'd been working on using his sense of smell to identify the people around him, and so far he could tell his regular guard from other visitors. The regular guy smelled slightly of stale cigarette smoke – cheap cigarettes at that.

 _This could work,_ Sasuke thought. They wouldn't expect him to be able to fight, but he'd practiced fighting blindfolded at times, to help himself depend on his hearing rather than his sight. He'd never planned to need the training to deal with blindness, but if he could escape and get far enough North he could find a doctor and get an eye transplant. Losing the Sharingan was going to be difficult in the extreme, but he could worry about that later.

His hopes faded when the mingled scent of sweat and iron met him, mixed with a faint undertone of blood.

 _Fuck. It's that Ibiki,_ Sasuke thought. He'd already decided that Ibiki was one of the people he was least likely to confuse. He'd thrown out that fake confused "who's there?" routine to keep Ibiki from knowing how alert he was, but he didn't think he'd get far with it. Better to wait for a less experienced guard.

Someone else entered the cell, someone clean smelling, with the faint scent of strawberry shampoo. _A woman,_ Sasuke thought. _Fuck._ Kunoichi were less predictable than male ninjas in his opinion.

He couldn't smell the third person. _Good to know,_ he thought. Apparently there was a low limit to his abilities, at least for the time being.

"Just like you practiced," Ibiki said. "No need to be nervous. He's helpless, aren't you Sasuke?"

 _He'd expect me to bait him,_ Sasuke thought. "I'm not as helpless as you think," Sasuke said.

Ibiki's deep laugh infuriated him. "I'll see you all dead yet," Sasuke said. "Just wait and see."

His hands were unbound, and he fell forward, feigning weakness. He expected the ninja to stop his fall, but he was allowed to slip forward onto the ground. If he'd been standing instead of sitting he probably would have broken a few bones.

 _More professional than I thought,_ Sasuke thought.

"Careful!" Ibiki said. "Tsunade wants him uninjured!"

Sasuke listened, trying to determine their position. Ibiki was in front of him, there was a ninja binding his arms behind his back after wrapping his fingers tightly with duct tape so that he couldn't cast any jutsus. Shuffling feet gave away the third man's position. The Kunoichi seemed to move around the cell, never staying in one place for long.

 _That one is either nervous or the type who won't stand still,_ Sasuke thought _._

The Kunoichi lifted him roughly to his feet, and he feigned a slight weakness, as if he stumbled. A kunai against the back of his neck let him know that she meant business.

"March," she said, and he cursed his luck again. He didn't recognize the voice, but it was harsh and mature, an angry Kunoichi, probably an experienced war veteran.

As soon as they stepped out of the police station and into the fresh air he felt the cold winter air and smelled the tang of a town after rain.

Voices of the townspeople quickly grew into a crowd, murmuring at first, and then growing louder as a crowd formed.

"Traitor!"

"Murderer!"

Various other shouts of rage and derision reached him. He held his head high. No Uchiha would bow before this filth. _Itachi should have just let the clan butcher them._

The voices grew louder, and someone jostled him. Something wet hit him on the face, dung from the smell of it.

"Enough!"Ibiki yelled. "You'll have your chance to do this when he's executed. We're taking him to be experimented on. No point in having him go to his death without giving back to Konoha."

The crowd liked that answer.

"That's right!" a man yelled.

"Torture him!" another yelled.

 _So much for loving, kind Konoha,_ Sasuke thought. _This must be killing Naruto. I wonder if he's crying over the hidden viciousness of his village._

He knew the hospital immediately. Nothing smelled like a hospital.

The people around him expressed themselves in hushed, frightened tones. The Kunoichi behind him prodded him in the back with the kunai. "Keep going," she said.

He was directed into a room and tied to a bed. He almost decided to fight his way out, but he knew that it wasn't time, not with Ibiki and the Kunoichi there. He didn't think the other guard had come with them, but it didn't matter. Two experienced ninjas against one blind one – it was insane odds.

 _I can wait,_ he thought. It was, after all, only a matter of time.

He heard the sharp click of high heels, and the strong smell of perfume hit him, cloying and sweet.

 _A hooker?_ He thought. _What the hell?_

As she stepped closer the smell grew stronger. Her hand turned his face, and he felt the tips of long, manicured nails on his cheeks.

"Leave two guards at all times," she said. "One on the outside and one inside. Both experienced ninjas of course."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Ibiki said.

Sasuke couldn't help but laugh, and it got away from him. All of his stress suddenly released itself in a howling, hysterical storm of laughter.

"I'll have him sedated," Tsunade said after he finished.

"Oh my god," Sasuke said. "You're the Hokage? I smelled that perfume and thought you were a whore!"

He heard the Kunoichi move.

"Anko put the weapon away!" Tsunade said. "I want him unharmed."

Tsunade patted his cheek. "You'll regret that, Sasuke. Wait until you find out what I have planned for you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I have to leave for a mission," Kakashi told Gai. "They need me specifically. Apparently my talents are necessary."

"That's what happens," Gai said.

"I'll try to be back before…" He met Gai's eyes, and his smile faltered. "Before they let you go," he finished.

"Kakashi…"

"I had a few things I wanted to talk with you about," Kakashi said. "Don't really have time now, with the mission coming up, but when I get back…"

He looked away, unable to keep his composure if he kept his eyes on Gai's ruined body.

"I don't know what Tsunade-sama has planned," Gai said, "but she said it's a long shot. I think that if you need to tell me anything you should do it before you leave. I might not be here when you get back."

Kakashi had to look down and clear his throat before he continued. "Gai, let me believe. I can't picture life without you."

"Then believe, but I'm ready for what's next, and I don't have hope for this life."

"I've been thinking about that night a few years ago after Asuma's birthday party."

"Ah," Gai said. "We were both drunk. I thought you had forgotten."

"As if I could," Kakashi said. "Maybe if I didn't take the cowardly way out things could have been different."

"How were you a coward?" Gai asked.

"I wish I had said yes."

"It's a little late for that now," Gai said.

"I know. It's just something I've been thinking about lately." An alarm chimed on his watch and he sighed. "I have to go."

He leaned forward, putting one arm over Gai, and carefully making sure not to disturb him, he kissed him, taking care not to jostle his injury. He heard the hospital monitors respond as Gai's heart rate quickened, and he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue between Gai's lips and then inside his mouth. As their tongues met Gai put an arm around Kakashi's back, trying to pull him closer, but Kakashi held back. He was afraid to do anything that might cause more injury.

"I should have said yes," Kakashi said.

It hurt Gai that Kakashi looked so miserable when he pulled away.

"Don't be sad on my account," Gai said. "It's enough that I know."

Kakashi adjusted his mask. "Just…remember me."

 _Such expressive eyes,_ Gai thought for the hundredth time, as Kakashi's misery showed even with the miniscule amount of face that the mask allowed him to see.

Naruto stopped him on the way out of the hospital. He and Sai had a bouquet of green roses with the Yamanaka logo.

"We're going to visit Gai-Sensei," Naruto said. "How is he?"

"He didn't say Yosh once," Kakashi said, "or anything about youth or stupid challenges. He's very serious and quiet. I've never seen him like this."

"He'll be back to his old self before you know it," Naruto said.

"I have to leave for a mission. I know it will be at least a few days, possibly more. I'd feel better if I knew you were looking after him for me. Neither of us have family, so I'd like to know someone was here in my place."

"I'll do that Sensei," Naruto said. "You can count on me."

"I know I can," Kakashi said.

He packed quickly. It should be a quick in-and-out mission, once they reached their destination, and he needed to travel fast and light. The travel would take most of the time, and he resented each mile that would take him from Gai.

He looked into the mirror, seeing the dark bags under his eyes, and the way his uniform hung more loosely on him than it had just a couple weeks before.

 _I've lost weight,_ he thought. _I can't let this distract me on my mission, or I might not come home._

He knew he couldn't turn off his emotions like he should, not now. His training wouldn't be enough to overcome his grief. He was still exhausted from the previous mission, and he needed all the focus he could find.

There was an old trick that he knew that he'd used a few times, but it was risky, and he didn't want to do it. He didn't see how he had much choice though.

When he'd been younger, in his ANBU years, a mission had gone badly, and he and his partner, an older ANBU that had worn the RAT mask at the time, had found themselves in a bad predicament. They had been forced to hide in an abandoned building, pushing far back inside. It had been a hotel, and they were able to find a room that was barely accessible, so that they could avoid the possibility of accidental discovery by squatters.

He had to help his partner over the rubble of a fallen hallway, and the older man's leg injury meant he would be slow-moving and almost useless in a fight.

He was only 16, and his heart beat faster every time he heard the slightest noise. The sound of mice in the walls, what was left of the building settling, even the occasional small bits of concrete and wood falling from the disturbed rubble made his grip his kunai tighter and use his over-worked Sharingan to look for enemies.

"Calm down kid," RAT had said. "We're going to be here for awhile. You need to be able to push your emotions aside at times like this. I've seen you do it before."

But it was too much. The mission had been long, they had lost two men, and they had enemies looking for them.

"I'm going to teach you something to help you," RAT had said, "but you shouldn't use this unless it's necessary. Find a piece of mirror."

Kakashi had brought him a bit of broken mirror from the bathroom, and the old man had taught him one of the most dangerous, self-harming jutsus he'd ever known.

Years later when Kakashi looked into the mirror before his mission he knew he needed RAT's training again, and he committed to the jutsu.

It wasn't so much a jutsu as a psychological technique. He looked deep into his own eye and began to chant a meditation mantra. He thought about the darker things he'd done in ANBU when he'd had to push himself to his physical and mental limits, focusing on the feeling of breaking away from himself, that moment when emotion and fear of consequences lost all meaning during the necessity for action. He allowed his own droning voice to pull him into hypnosis.

He felt it, the stark darkness that had been in his own soul, the strength that had pushed him through illness and injury for that last kill, that extra mile, that bit of self-surgery necessary for survival during the worst missions.

Everything seemed clear, simple, honest and accessible. Only one thing mattered – the mission. Gai and Naruto were nothing more than valued comrades. Gone was the teacher, pillar of the community, oftentimes pervert and caring friend. Hatake Kakashi was no more.

Hatake Kakashi had looked into the mirror to find within himself what he needed to survive. He stared into the void, and INU the killer stared back.


	6. Chapter 6

INU knew his place. If Kakashi was Konoha's tool, then INU was Konoha's claws. Tools did complicated work. Claws had one purpose – to rip and tear the enemy.

He met Yamato at the city gates. Yamato looked at those hard, alert eyes, and he felt cold and afraid. He'd never seen them without the ANBU mask, but he knew what he was looking at.

"Kakashi?" Yamato asked. "Are you ok?"

"I'm ready for action," INU said, with a voice a full octave lower than Kakashi's. "Let's go."

Yamato followed him. He had no choice, but he wondered if he'd return from this mission. "You're not Kakashi, are you?" he asked. "You're INU, aren't you?"

INU glanced back. "I was needed. I came. You've worked with me before."

All ANBU had to harness strengths that were dangerous and frightening at times, but something had happened to Kakashi on his last ANBU mission, and Yamato had had the misfortune to be present. He remembered that mission, when Kakashi had sunk so far into his ANBU identity that he couldn't come back, when those dark, hollow eyes had looked more through him than at him. When he had to remind INU to clean the blood off of himself after he had ripped through 20 men as if they were nothing. INU had stopped and irritably cleaned himself, as if such a mundane chore were unimportant, as if he hadn't pulled other men's entrails off his clothes.

Yamato had tried to talk him down, wondering the entire time if he was about to die. He could have fought Kakashi. He would have lost, but he could have fought him, enough to flee if he was lucky. But INU would slaughter him.

INU had realized Yamato was frightened. "Don't worry," he'd said. "You're a comrade. You're safe with me."

But Yamato had felt as if he was walking on dynamite until he managed to get home and take INU to the Hokage's office.

As soon as he'd seen INU, Sandaime had stood and walked to him. "Kakashi, what happened?"

"The mission was successful, Hokage-sama," INU said.

"Step outside. I want to take Yamato's report, and then I'll take yours."

As soon as the door was closed, Yamato told the Hokage what had happened.

"It sounds like he's about to snap," Sandaime had said. "There are procedures in place for this, but we need to get him to a safe place so he can recover. He could kill hundreds of people if he isn't contained quickly. I want you to let him in, but stay outside in case I need you."

Yamato stepped into the foyer. He was used to seeing Kakashi flirt with the secretary or lean against a wall lazily as he waited to see the Hokage, but INU stood ramrod straight, staring forward.

"He's ready for you," Yamato said.

INU stepped into the Hokage's office, and Yamato felt a sudden surge of chakra. He ran into the office, expecting to have to help his Hokage fight his senpai, but instead he saw the old man bending over the unconscious form of Kakashi, pulling open his good eye and looking into it. Only the white was visible with a part of one pupil peeking out from the eyelid.

"He's out," the Hokage said. "It didn't take much. He's strung more tightly than a guitar string right now."

The medics came and took him away. It was a month before he was released from the psych ward, and the next time Yamato saw him he had lost so much weight as to look anorexic.

"Domo, Yamato," he'd said. "I'm not sure I would have come back from that."

And now Yamato was stuck with INU again, and he didn't know why.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Inoichi paced in Tsunadae's office.

"What you're asking me to do is beyond illegal, Hokage-sama," he said. "It's murder."

"You'll be using a condemned prisoner," Tsunade said.

"It doesn't matter," Inoichi said. "That jutsu is so forbidden that anyone who uses it will be executed by my clan. Any jutsu that requires a living sacrifice is forbidden to us, and that one requires complete sacrifice."

"It brings justice for your daughter," Tsunade said. "I think you'd want that."

"What does Ino have to do with this?" Inoichi asked.

"Uchiha Sasuke is to be the living sacrifice," Tsunade said.

"That…changes things."

"I'll give you time to think it over," Tsunade said. "We need to find a corpse to get donations for an eye transplant for Sasuke before the transformation takes place, but don't wait too long. Gai is stable for the moment, but his body is so badly damaged I don't know how long he'll live. He could have years, or only a few days."

"I don't need time," Inoichi said. "Ino was my life. She was my precious baby girl. If I can use Uchiha Sasuke's body my revenge is complete. I'll do it."

Tsunade saw the intensity in his eyes.

"You do realize though that it's likely not to work," Inoichi said. "It's only been done 5 times, and 4 of those times the subjects committed suicide afterwards."

"What happened to the fifth?" Tsunade asked.

"He was executed with the ninja who used the jutsu."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Yamato traveled with INU he began to relax around him. He didn't know why INU was present, but he seemed content to travel silently, looking straight ahead. They quickly finished the assassination, using Kakashi's Sharingan to see into the heavily guarded compound. The ninja clan that owned the compound were masters of chakra traps, and only the Sharingan allowed them to infiltrate it to get to their target.

They traveled two days, moving as quickly as possible and stopping only to eat and rest briefly. The morning of the third day Yamato woke before INU, but he was happy to see Kakashi instead of INU.

The change was obvious. INU had woken with no sign of sleep confusion or other normal morning shortcomings. INU always sat up straight immediately upon waking, performed his morning hygiene and breakfast routine silently, speaking only when necessary.

But that morning Kakashi sat up and ran a hand through tangled hair. He yawned and stretched, cracking his back and grimacing.

"It's good to see you," Yamato said.

Kakashi grunted in reply.

"Why was INU here?" Yamato asked.

"Because I needed him," Kakashi said. "He's gone. Don't concern yourself."

Yamato left it alone, but he wondered if he'd seen that last of INU. He certainly hoped so.

When they reached Konoha Yamato asked Kakashi, "it was a simple mission. The report can wait. Do you want to get some coffee?" He felt reluctant to leave Kakashi before discovering what had driven his friend to psychosis again.

"I have something important to take care of," Kakashi said.

"Is this something the same something that made you need INU?" Yamato asked.

"Let it go Yamato."

"Ok, Senpai. If you need me…"

"Noted. I'll see you around."

He hurried to the hospital, hoping that he wasn't too late. When he'd woken up without INU he'd had trouble hiding his distress from Yamato. _Don't be too late. Don't be too late,_ he thought as he approached Gai's room.

The room was empty, clean, and ready for the next patient. The bright sunlight streaming through the window mocked him.

Kakashi went to the nurses' station. "I need to know what room they moved Maito Gai into," he said. _They might have moved him to the Home._

The nurse looked through a few files. "I'm sorry, but he passed away yesterday."

She said something else, but Kakashi wasn't listening. He left the hospital in a state of shock, trying to make sense of it all. _Yesterday,_ he thought. It was such a small amount of time, as if he could almost reach back and grab it, twist it into the right shape.

Sakura saw him wandering toward the door with his hands in his pockets and a blank look on his face.

"Sensei?"

"Huh? Sakura?"

"I guess you heard," she said. "How are you?"

"When is the funeral?" he asked.

"Two days," Sakura said. "Sai, Naruto, and I are going together. Why don't you come with us?"

"Sure," Kakashi said.

He decided to give Tsunade his report so he could get it out of the way and climb into a bottle of whiskey. He waited in the foyer, looking out the window at the bustling village.

A ninja left Tsunade's office, and he drew Kakashi's attention simply because even though he'd never seen him the man seemed as if he belonged there.

He was an average looking fellow, dressed in camo with messy black hair spilling out over his hitai-ate. His face was almost completely covered, and only his eyes showed over a mask that looked almost like Kakashi's. A deep scar through the nose and passing through the eyes was matched by one that came into view just under one eye passing back under the mask. The eyes were an unusual shade of grey, and very sad.

Kakashi couldn't have said why the man drew his attention. Except for the mask and scars he was an average looking fellow. Something about him reminded Kakashi of Obito, but he couldn't say what.

The stranger seemed startled when he saw Kakashi, and seemed as if he wanted to speak to him, but he turned and left.

He was standing in the doorway looking back at the stranger when Tsunade said, "in or out Kakashi."

He gave his report to Tsunade, happy that she was too busy for a personal meeting. She motioned to her inbox, and he tossed the mission report on top of Yamato's and left.

 _Dodged a kunai there,_ he thought. He didn't want to answer questions.

He made his way slowly to a bar on the seedier side of town, adopting a henge of a larger, balding man – someone unlikely to be approached by strangers. He didn't see the ninja with the scars following him.

Even at his worst he didn't get very drunk in public, at least not alone. He didn't drink much at any rate, and allowing himself to lose control in public seemed like inviting a kunai to the back.

So when he ordered his third double whiskey he ignored his better sense. _What does it matter if I get stabbed now?_ He didn't realize he had become too drunk to hold the henge until he found himself looking in the bar mirror at his own reflection.

He remembered too much that he didn't want to remember. Half of the reason he was in the bar was to forget. To forget that the only person who had truly understood him was dead.

All of the stupid challenges, the amazing sparring sessions, that one and only kiss. It all haunted him.

He didn't leave until the bar closed, and he staggered outside, unsure of which direction his house lay. He slurred something at the bouncer who pushed him out, and promptly had to hold the building to keep from falling.

The world spun around him, and it finally made it through the alcohol fog in his mind that he was in trouble. He made his way in what he hoped was the right direction, stumbling behind buildings and through alleys to avoid detection – or so he thought. He couldn't have fooled an academy student.

He was in an alley behind a small mini mall when he fell, landing on a broken liquor bottle. He looked in numb confusion as a stream of blood flowed from his hand, and he blinked stupidly as he tried to think of what to do.

"You should be more careful," he heard, and he looked up to see the blurry figure of a man standing over him, a familiar man.

"Obito?" he asked. "You're dead. I killed you. Did you come to make peace?"

"No. I'm not Obito." The man knelt, gently removed the large shard of glass from his hand, and pulled bandages from Kakashi's pack, wrapping his wound. "This will do until you can get to a medic tomorrow."

He lifted Kakashi, pulling an arm around his shoulder and almost carrying him home. Kakashi asked no more questions, having to use all of his focus to walk.

When Kakashi woke in his bed hours later he wondered who had brought him home, undressed him down to his pants, and helped him into bed. He vaguely remembered something about an alley, and how hard the walk home had been. Someone had been with him, but he couldn't remember who. He definitely remembered the hand injury.

 _God that was dumb,_ he thought as he pulled the blanket over his head to hide from the morning light through his blinds' slats.

He went through the day in a sort of haze, going out once to the corner store for some food. He saw the stranger again, not following him, but still too conveniently nearby. Something about the stranger made him bristle. He couldn't say why. He hadn't been aggressive or rude in any way. There was just something about him that Kakashi didn't like, something that screamed danger.

He didn't put much thought into it. The sour grief left by Gai's death took up all the available space in his brain. He didn't care when Tsunade told him that he was taken off the mission roster until he gained weight and passed a physical, or when he saw Sai and Sakura holding hands as they walked.

 _I guess she changed her mind,_ he thought. He would usually be amused, but he felt numb inside. It was wrong for the sun to shine, wrong to hear people chattering happily as he walked, as if there could be any joy in the world.

He almost skipped the viewing, but he knew he'd regret not seeing Gai one last time. It was rare to be able to view a ninja's body in the funeral home. It was more likely that their remains would be too torn up for an open casket funeral.

The lump was gone where the machinery and pumps had replaced Gai's stomach. He had been put into one of his green jumpsuits, but his face was wrong.

Kakashi hated when people said a corpse prepared for a funeral "looked so natural". Gai looked as waxy as any prepared corpse.

"Goodbye old friend," Kakashi said. "I wish I could have been there at the end, but it's one more thing I was late for."

He saw the stranger on his way home, and he was sure he was being followed. _I'll have to ask Tsunade-sama about him. He might be a new ANBU that was told to tail me because of INU._ He was sure Yamato had included INU's appearance in his report. He couldn't blame him; it was his duty.

She needn't have worried, in his opinion, but if she was taking INU's appearance that seriously he should probably talk to her. He decided to wait until after the funeral. He hated funerals, the finality, the panicky feeling of loss. He wasn't in the frame of mind to deal with his temperamental boss.

Gai's funeral was late in the afternoon, so he had worked through the hangover in time to go. Naruto and Sakura both wept for Gai, but Naruto also kept a close eye on his Sensei.

"Sakura, Kakashi looks bad," Naruto whispered. He had a dazed, lost expression, and he stared at nothing in particular.

Somehow he escaped Naruto's attention, and after the funeral a breeze and a swirl of leaves signaled his departure. Naruto decided against searching for him. Sakura looked too miserable to leave alone, and Sai stood by helplessly, unable to help his hurting friends.

Sai saw Sakura and Naruto leave alone and watched them walk away. He pulled out his book and began to read, looking for some kind of advice to help him.

He found Sakura later by Lake Uchiha, sitting alone on a park bench. He stood by the bench awkwardly.

"You were hard to find," Sai said.

"I didn't want to be found," Sakura said.

"The book said that oftentimes when a friend is in pain they need someone to console them," Sai said. "I would do that if I knew how."

"I know you would," Sakura said. She moved over so he could sit beside her, but when he didn't notice her hint, she patted the bench. "You could sit with me," she said.

Sai sat by her. "Is…is this helping?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. She held his hand and sat quietly. Day turned into dusk, and they watched the sun set over the lake.

"Sakura, I think I'm supposed to kiss you now, but I don't know anything about that."

"That's ok, Sai. It's enough that you're here. I'm not ready for anything like that, anyway."

"That's good," Sai said. "I don't think I am either."

"It just seems so wrong," Sakura said. "Ino and Gai Sensei were so strong."

"No one is strong enough to live forever," Sai said.

Sakura leaned her head on Sai's shoulder, not noticing the panicked look on his face.

No one looked for Kakashi, but it was just as well. He abandoned his usual haunts and left Konoha, walking past the treeless barrier that allowed all approach to the village to be under surveillance. As soon as he reached the forest he hopped into a tree and watched the sun set. He called Pakkun and settled into the crook of a large branch.

Pakkun said nothing, simply snuggling onto his Master's chest and whining a bit as he sensed his misery. Kakashi petted him as if he was a mortal dog, stroking him softly while he listened to the night sounds of the forest.

The next day he received the summons he'd been expecting, and he greeted Tsunade with the appropriate amount of respect, but it was difficult to hide his irritation.

"Something bothering you, Kakashi?" Tsunade asked. Her eyes were challenging.

"That ninja I saw coming out of your office seems to be following me," Kakashi said. "Are you having me tailed for some reason?" 

"And why would I do that?" Tsunade asked. "Could you possibly tell me what you might have done that could have made me feel that you need my attention?"

 _INU,_ Kakashi thought.

"I know why. It's about INU, isn't it?"

"Actually, I didn't tell him to follow you. I just wanted to see if you'd be honest with me. I just read Yamato's report. That jutsu is incredibly dangerous. I understand it caused you a lengthy stay in the hospital when you used it last time."

"I am in control, Hokage-sama."

"Then why did you need _that_ jutsu for a simple mission? You know to let the mission director know if you're incapacitated in any way. You were necessary for the mission's success, but he might have chosen another partner for you, someone closer to your own strength."

"I didn't consider that," Kakashi said.

"Of course not. I'm concerned about you. I found the reports from your last ANBU mission. I'll certainly make allowances for grief, but you experienced a psychotic break. You're lucky you came back to us at all."

"I was never in danger this time. I brought out INU so that I could focus on my mission. It was necessary, or I wouldn't have done it."

"And why was it necessary?"

"Because I knew the days I would be gone would possibly be Gai's last days alive."

"I see. I'm sorry you lost that time together. However, that jutsu is far too dangerous. I forbid you from using it again."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"I also called you to talk about the man you mentioned. I told him to make your acquaintance. I guess he's still a little awkward in his situation. He's a new ninja that came from a small village about a day north. He manifested some wild chakra abilities during a boar attack, and I think he has great potential."

"Why do you think he needs to meet me?"

"Well, he is a Hatake, and I thought that since you're family you could help him. I want you to take him as your student."

Kakashi bit his lip in frustration at the effort to keep his tone respectful.

"Yes, Hokage-sama, is there anything else?"

"No, except to say that I'm sorry for your loss. If there is anything I can do, please let me know."

Kakashi left in an even sourer mood than when he'd been summoned.

He tended to prowl at night if he couldn't sleep, so he ended up at Gai's grave at two in the morning. His grave had been placed next to Lee's, which wasn't surprising. It had taken Gai years to get over his death, and neither of them had family.

The freshly turned earth over his grave was covered in flowers. Kakashi laid his own bouquet of irises beside them.

"I guess I win," he said. "Would have rather lost this challenge."

The crunch of grass brittle with frozen dew alerted him to an approach from behind. It was him. That damn stranger. Kakashi hated how familiar he seemed, how open. No ninja should walk with such an open stance. Something about him seemed off, gangly like a teen still unused to dealing with his body after a growth spurt.

"Really?" Kakashi asked. "You see me by my friend's grave and decide this is a good time to approach me?"

"We need to talk," the stranger said. "It's very important."

"I know who you are," Kakashi said.

"You do?" the stranger asked. "I thought you'd be glad to see me."

"Why would I? The country branch of the Hatake Clan disowned me when I was a child. They even sent a clan elder to inform my father than we were disowned. After all this time a Hatake manifests some wild chakra and they send you to me? Do they think that just because I've become powerful they can just step back into my life, that I would welcome one of them after they abandoned me?"

"That's not it at all," the stranger said.

"I've been ordered to train you, so I'll do it, but don't expect anything other than what I'm ordered to do. You should go back to your clan. You're far too old for training like this."

"Kakashi, you don't understand…"

"Don't speak to me so informally," Kakashi said. "You will address me as Sensei. Is that clear?"

A long pause almost brought on another bout of temper from Kakashi when the stranger said. "Yes Sensei. Forgive me for intruding on your grief. I will find you at a more appropriate time."

"Be at Field 6 tomorrow at dawn," Kakashi said. "Until then, fuck off."

His new student bowed slightly and left. Kakashi realized he didn't know his name, and he didn't care.

He dragged himself to the training field at 8 to find his student doing calisthenics. He moved awkwardly, more like a civilian than a ninja.

"You haven't had any training, have you, Hatake?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, I just arrived," his student said. "We really need to talk somewhere more private."

"None of that," Kakashi snapped. "Just show me what you did to the boar that attacked you."

Hatake pushed chakra into his hands, and it flowed out unevenly. "That was all," he said.

"You should be in the Academy," Kakashi said. "I don't know why Tsunade-sama stuck me with you."

"There's a very important reason for that," Hatake said.

"You think too much of yourself," Kakashi said. "You aren't important. Your genetics are. She just wants another member of the Hatake clan to be a ninja. The white chakra is limited to our clan, and not many of us can be ninjas."

He handed Hatake an Academy text. "Read chapter one and meet me back here tomorrow at dawn."

"But Kakashi…"

A sharp look stopped him. "But Sensei…"

"Look, Hatake, I'll train you, but you have to start with the basics. Dismissed."

Hatake watched in dismay as Kakashi turned and left. "Well, that could have gone better."

When Kakashi found out that Sakura, Sai, and Naruto had left with Yamato for a mission he felt anger that he knew was irrational. _I can't expect them to wait for me. I need to get ready for missions myself. At least I could be away from the country cousin for some time._

Hatake watched Kakashi as he walked. He hadn't bothered to hide his presence before, because he'd wanted to be seen. But now he slipped among the shadows. He wasn't the sneakiest of ninjas, by any means, but Kakashi was getting sloppy in his pre-occupation with his own problems.

 _I'll have to talk to him about that,_ Hatake thought. _But how to get him alone? The cemetery is out. That's for sure._

The next day was Sasuke's execution. Very few people knew that the man that was led gagged and bound through the streets of Konoha wasn't Sasuke, but another condemned criminal. Tsunade's henge was good. Ibiki didn't even know. She had made sure that it was a complete secret, and as they covered the criminal's head with a bag before beheading him she hoped her plan would work. She had ordered "Sasuke's" mouth gagged, on the pretense that she didn't want him to spread any more of his venomous lies.

The crowd never suspected, and they cheered as the criminal's head was cut off. Tsunade couldn't help but feel an ugly satisfaction, glad that the business was over.

Anyone who could get away from their jobs was as close to the execution area as they could be. Food stalls had been set up, and the place seemed to have a carnival atmosphere.

Kakashi felt none of the elation that others seemed to embrace, but none of the others had been close to Sasuke. He was glad Sakura and Naruto were out of town. He didn't want Sakura to embrace that dark joy of revenge, and it would have hurt Naruto to see his village behave so barbarically, even if it was justified.

When he returned home he made a simple lunch, which he didn't eat. Instead he sat at the table and tried not to remember. He couldn't help it. His mind kept going back to that night after Asuma's party, when he was drunk enough that he'd let Gai hold him, nuzzle against his neck and pull his mask down.

 _I should have said yes,_ he thought again, but he'd stopped Gai as he moved in for a kiss. They locked eyes for several long seconds, and Gai had left. They had pretended it hadn't happened for years.

He had just made the decision to go back to the bar that night when he heard a knock at the door.

"Hatake?" he asked. "You'd better have a damn good reason for bothering me."

Hatake stepped inside, pushing Kakashi backwards. "I have to talk to you, and I can't do it where we might be overheard."

"What is it?" Kakashi asked. "What could possibly be so important that you have to tell me?"

"Kakashi, it's me, Gai."

Kakashi looked into grey, intense eyes, and he decided he must be talking to a mad man. There was a history of mental illness in the Hatake clan.

"Ok, I don't know what's going on here, but you're obviously delusional."

"I'm serious! And I can prove it."

"How? Tell me something that only Gai would know."

"I wish you had said yes."

Kakashi's eye widened.

"I know neither of us told anyone what almost happened after that party," the stranger said.

Kakashi shook his head. "There's no way anyone but Gai could know, but it isn't possible."

"I can't tell you how it happened, or someone that helped me might suffer."

Kakashi's brain refused to accept it. "You can't… this…" he stammered.

"Kakashi, are you ok?"

"No. I…" He stopped as he felt weak and shaky. "It can't be true."

"Sit down," the stranger said. "You look like you're going to faint."

Kakashi fell onto the couch. "Head between your knees and breathe deeply," the stranger said.

Kakashi complied, too stunned to do anything else. The stranger put his hand on Kakashi's back. "That's it, just breathe. You haven't been taking care of yourself again, have you?"

Kakashi didn't have the chance to respond as he fought to stay conscious. When the dizzy spell passed and he looked up into intense gray eyes he tried to understand. "Gai? It's really you, isn't it? But I saw your body."

"I know," Gai said. "I can't tell you what happened. Just believe me and accept."

Kakashi sat up and reached for Gai's mask. Gai caught his hand. "No! No one can ever see what's under the mask! Ever!"

"I don't understand."

"It doesn't matter," Gai said. "After you rest we can talk more, and don't argue with me. You look horrible."

"I can't argue with that," Kakashi said. He stood, feeling stronger but having to admit that Gai was right. He had been neglecting his health.

"Wait," Gai said. He pulled Kakashi's headband off and put it over his eyes. He pulled down Kakashi's mask.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked.

"Can't let you see my face," Gai said, before Kakashi felt rough lips on his. He returned the kiss, pulling Gai close to him.

When Gai pulled Kakashi's headband off he had put his own mask back on, hiding everything but his eyes and the scars crossing them.

Kakashi touched the skin by Gai's left eye, feeling the rough scar. "Whose eyes are those? Whose body is this?"

"Mine, now," Gai said. "I was sworn to secrecy."

"I can respect that," Kakashi said. "I'm just glad to have you back."

"I'll never feel young again," Gai said, "but I can still be a ninja, and teach. And we can be together."

He grinned and said, "Yosh!" but the grin faded. "I can't feel the old enthusiasm. I don't know if I ever will again."

Across the village Sakura stood in front of Ino's grave. It was ornate, with a couple two foot tall roses carved out of pink marble. Ino's parents had paid more than Sakura made in months for Ino's headstone.

Sakura wished she could hide her emotions better, that she wasn't crying, or that she could forget what had happened, but the scene played over and over in her mind.

Sai stood beside her, quiet and strong.

"I wish I could be like you," Sakura said.

"Odd," Sai said. "I was just thinking that I wish I could be more like you."

Sakura took his hand and allowed herself to feel safe in his presence, to accept his solidity and strength.

"I suppose this is it," she said. "This is what we all get eventually. A grave and some memories."

"Yes, but we don't have to go there alone," Sai said.

"Did you read that in your book?" Sakura asked.

"No," Sai said. "I figured that out by myself."

Konoha slept, for the most part. It moved on without the dead, absorbing them into its soil as it absorbed their lives into its people.


End file.
